Cali Bound//Our2ndLife

♡Chapter 21♡

I flipped the lonely little pancake waiting for a golden brown result. Lexie went out for a jog, said she "needed to cut down", and I'm too lazy in the morning to bother with it. Currently I was cooking myself breakfast because my endless pit was yelling at me to give it some food.

Once I finally got my pancake how I wanted it I made a couple more and some pieces of bacon before I headed to sit down at the little card table we had. We still need to go to IKEA or some shit and get some real furniture. I don't know how pretty this card table will look much longer, it completely ruins the entire room. Just as I was eating my pancakes peacefully, lost in my thoughts, the door opened. I looked up expecting it to be Lexie, but it was Connor and Sam.

I smiled and clapped my hands getting the crumbs off. I scooted my chair out and grabbed my plate throwing it in the sink. I walked back over to where they were and leaned against the wall.

"What brings you two here?" I asked them.



"Wanted to see what my beautiful girlfriend was doing today.." Connor smiled and walked up to me wrapping his arms around my waist making me smile. It's been a few days since the big blowout when he locked himself in the bathroom, and he's kind of been ignoring the topic.

Like last night. I asked him a simple question about it and then he snapped at me and walked away. See, what you need to understand about Connor, is he's bipolar. Not many people are aware of it, and so most, like Sam and Lexie and the other guys, think that he is just an asshole. But Connor has his own problems going on.

He told me once that his mind is like a war. It's so loud in there. He said he acts so happy because he doesn't want anyone to notice how weak he is deep down. Inside he is broken, he is lost, and he is honestly depressed. He says that the reason for it is for him to know only. I can't get it out of him, he won't ever tell me so I kind of just leave it, hoping one day he'll let me know why he is the way he is.



"Well..." I said dragging it out as I softly tore his arms off my waist. "I'm actually just going to have a Morgan day. You know me, needing my space and all." I said.



"Oh.." He said quietly. "Well, that's alright. I won't hold you back." He smiled trying to say 'It's alright, I'm okay'. I really knew that inside, he wasn't okay. I know he doesn't like my "Morgan days" but I can't help it, it's my nature to want days to myself. I'm not like Lexie, who always wants to be with Sam. I'm more distant than she is. She is the outgoing type, I'm more into being in solitude. I don't know, it's just who I am.



"I'm sorry babe. You know I love you." I said kissing him.



"I know, it's alright." He smiled at me.



"Hate to interrupt the moment, but is Lexie here?" Sam asked.



"Oh, she is out on a run. Said she needs to get in shape." I said mocking her saying what she said. Yeah she's not stick thin, but she isn't a fat-ass.



"Alright. I'll just call her. Thanks Morgan." Sam smiled. "You coming Con?" He asked Connor as he opened the door to the apartment. Connor let go of me and look at Sam and then back at me then back at Sam before replying,



"Yep." He said quickly as he walked out the door ahead of Sam. I know I should be with him and helping him during his tough times, but I need some space once and a while. Not because I'm falling out of love with him, because I never could, like I said before it's just who I am.

Before I knew it, both of the boys were gone. Lovely.













Connor's POV



"I hate her dumb "alone days" things." I grumbled as I sat in the drivers seat. I slammed the key into the ignition and pulled the car in reverse before pulling out of the driveway type area.



"Woah man, it's alright. You can hangout with me today!" Sam suggested with a smile. Woah man is right Sam. I need to control these damn problems I'm having. I went to a shrink the other day and they told me what was wrong with me and apparently, I have a case of depression. Weird? I know. Connor Franta. Happiest guy you'll ever meet. Not exactly.

I've gone through some things that have gotten me like this, some of those things I don't care to say. But I first noticed what was going on when I became easily irritated, which is mainly the case. I also noticed something was wrong a few days ago when I had that big blowout at the house and locked myself in a bathroom.

I was really considering to grab one of the razors beside me, and I did. But I never went through with it. Do you know how much guilt and burden people would put on me? The guys? The fans? Morgan? My family? Everyone? They'd make me feel even worse about myself than I already do, and like I need to feel any worse about who I am already.



"Nah, you want to see Lexie. I'll go hang with the other guys." I told him, switching back to normal. Sam probably thinks I'm bipolar, which I am.



"Alright, are you sure?" He asked as we pulled up into the drive of the O2L house. Yes, it was not that far away. Maybe, maybe five minutes. It was pretty convenient.



"Yeah, go ahead. Don't get into any accidents though, you still don't have a license." I said making him laugh.



"I won't. See ya." He laughed as he switched spots with me. I walked up the sidewalk and into the fancy home. Fancy to me at least. I unlocked the door and walked inside. I could hear faint noises of a Rickian collab going on so I decided to just go and chill in the living room. I sat on the big couch and stretch out closing my eyes. That was all I remembered until I fell in a deep sleep.







"Connor.." Someone's voice called. I stirred around a bit and then opened my eyes to notice a figure in front of me. It was Ricky.



"What?" I asked groggily.



"The guys and I are off to a party..Wanna go?" He asked.



"Who's?" I asked curiously as I rubbed my eyes.



"Acacia's." He said. I gave him an "eek" face and then nodded after contemplating it. I'm friends with her and all, but I heard her parties suck ass. Oh well, got nothing better to do.



"Wait. What time is it?" I asked.



"Almost 8." He said. I seriously slept for 10 hours? This depression is really getting an effect on me, and it's not good.


"Alright. I'll go." I smiled. I got up and we both made our way out to the car driving over to Acacias house. Apparently all I've hear was rumors because this party looked like a remake of Project X. This is gonna be fucking awesome. The guys and I walked into the house making an entrance, because we were O2L. Acacia instantly walked over to us reeking of alcohol and weed put together. Oh god.

"Oh guys! I've been waiting for you to get here! Come in, let's get you all some drinks!" She slurred. You could properly say that she is white girl wasted. But damn, for a 16 year old she does not only know how to throw a party, but it clearly looks like she knows how to throw one too. Maybe this'll be more fun than I thought. Maybe I just need to look at tonight as a, let loose be the real Connor, kind of night. 

Acacia grabbed my hand and dragged me over to the kitchen where the alcohol was at. Damn, good thing I'm legal. Acacia started mixing random drinks together and after a good five minutes she brought me over one. I didn't hesitate one bit once it was in my hands, I chugged that drink down like my life depended on it. 

I do have a bit of worry though. I don't want people to find out I do this. I don't want the fans to look at me and think 'wow, what a role model you are. Drinking and smoking, cool'. I don't want Morgan to look at me as a bad person cause I do this once and a while. I mean, she already knows about Jc doing this stuff on occasion, and she doesn't judge him. So I don't have to worry then right? I don't know, ugh. 

I drank and drank and before I knew it I was already in the stumbling stage, good. I then walked over to where I smelled the smell of skunk. I instantly knew what it was. Weed. I walked around the corner to see people passing bongs around. I contemplated it for a second asking myself if it's the right thing to do, and I eventually decided, who the fuck cares, right? I walked over to the group and took a seat next to Jc and Acacia. Jc had a bong in his hands and he was bringing it up to his lips, meanwhile Acacia was clinging on to me like velcro. 

"You want a hit man?" Jc asked me passing the bong in my direction. I nodded with a smile and brought it up to my lips. I put my lips inside of the chamber and then put my finger on the carb. I then grabbed the lighter from Jc and ignited the substance. I took a big hit and kept it in my lungs for several seconds. 

It wasn't my first time smoking weed from a bong, or weed at all, so I knew what I had to do. I forgot how much I missed this kind of stuff. Ever since O2L grew, I didn't want to do it anymore in fear of getting caught by fans, but now that I think of it, who cares? If they're my true fans, they'll still love me even if I did these things. I mean I don't think Jc lost fans when the GIF of him smoking went around tumblr. So, I'm all good. 

After a while I was baked as a cake. Between being wasted and baked, I had no self conscience anymore. I had no control over myself at all. For some reason, I was okay with it. 

"Connor.." Acacia whispered into my ear. I blinked my eyes slowly from being high and then looked over at her. "You wanna have some real fun?" She smirked leaning closer into me. 

"Depends. What are we talking about?" I asked with a small smirk. 

"I think you know, come on." She laughed as she grabbed my hand and pulled me along. I chuckled slightly following behind her. I don't think anyone really noticed we left, oh well. She took me up the stairs and into what I'm assuming was either her room or a spare room. Probably hers. 

Before I knew it, we were both bare. I knew I'd be regretting this once I remembered, but at the moment the next morning and Morgan were the least of my concerns. 

OKAY SO A FEW THINGS. 1. I know Connor doesn't smoke or drink (from what I know) it's just a story, and 2. I am not hating on Acacia in anyway in this chapter, we actually talk to each other so I would never be rude to her. 

NEXT, is that I am in the Watty's as you may know. It's in Popfic and then under YouTube celebrities SO PLEASE GO VOTE YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW MUCH IT'D MEAN TO ME!!! :)

NEXT, for now on with this story I'll be updating three chapters at a time because I am ending it soon, so yeah.. Hope that's something you guys will like! :)

LAST, I have exams so after this I won't be updating until next week. I HAVE HAVE HAVE TO STUDY. There's no options to say no. Sorry guys. 

But yeah, that's about it, thank you for everything ilyasm ok? ok. 

*winks* BUYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEE