depression diary

nurses office + enough

my throat hurts and i'm trying to be allowed to go home.

the nurse said there really isn't a good reason for me to go home.

fuck.

we're going to call my mom though to see what she says. my parents usually are home and i'm praying they didn't go anywhere.

i feel like i'm losing my voice and it sort of hurts to talk. pray for me. i want to go home.

there has to be something that will make me and my throat feel better.

i guess there is something with cold medicine in ibuprofen or tylenol because instead of being sent home i took that.

i still feel terrible tbh.

i just want the weekend.

i blocked alex on imessage and when i get home i'm taking him off of facebook and maybe snapchat. idk. i probably should.

i honestly want to go home, today was enough. but it's not like home is such a happy place to seek refuge. i wish it was. but it isn't.

fuck it.

i didn't get to go home and i honestly felt like i was gonna cry because i wanted to leave.

paige was looking at me when we all waited outside the computer lab for oue teacher

i didn't like her staring at me. i don't really like it when people stare at mme anymore. it makes me think is there something on my face? is there something wrong with me?

i walked into english with a pass from the nurse and noah (another person i consider a bully) sort of gave me a glarish look. well, screw you. i don't have time for your immatureness.

he's honestly a snotty kid sometimes. he was born with no arms though, so in school i suppose he can get away with everything. what really irks me is that everyone thinks he is so amazing, nice, caring, etc.

little do they know he did some cyberbullying to me. if i told everyone they wouldn't believe me. it happened in 9th grade, which was two years ago.

this new girl who came to our school last year, is friends with him. then one of my best friends, last i knew, was friends with him. sigh.

it makes me feel like he's stealing everyone away from me 😖😞 like he's stealing all my friends.

but even if i'm not as great as him, i am a great person in general.

a girl who feels down most of the time. she doesn't think she's exactly depressed, but if she was, she wouldn't be surprised.

i have biology keystone extension again next period. kill me. reanne and alex are in there.

alex seemed to make it a big deal when i went to ms monica's for lunch. ms monica is this lady who works at my school. she's amazing. everyone loves her tbh. i told alex goodbye because i guess he wanted to walk with me to lunch so he was like "well fuck you too"

well screw you.

he talks to me over social media like we're sort of best friends but in school it's different. i'm not doing this anymore.

i just need to get him off my facebook.

off my snapchat,

out of my life.

i'm done.

i've had enough :(

i don't want to go to biology keystone extension. this one popular kid talked to me yesterday and i said he wasn't my classmate. i hope he doesn't say anything to me. he probably will.

i don't want to talk to him or anyone. i have enough on my plate for fucks sake. i can't live like this anymore 😭😖😞😔😪😒💔

pray for me. i'll write more when i get on the bus :(

i guess the biology class extension wasn't too bad.

i just want to drown myself in my music rn.