depression diary

life update + might get beat up?

hey guys, i hope you're doing well.

i'll try be more active, but truly i'm not entirely sure if this'll actually happen. i had bought myself my own xbox, which is cool and such. i bought stuff for it and even my own game.

but i've been on it more than i have my phone quite a bit so idk if that's good or not. but i'm graduated from high school. i still have to get my life together. i need to get my permit and my license still, and work on myself. a lot.

i really need to get myself together so i can get my own place and get out of this house. one of the number one and probably only reasons i want to do this is so i can get away from my fucking asshole dad. he's a sorry excuse for a father because of the way he's treated me and because he still treats me badly. i'm DONE.

my dad had said to me one day "what's next thursday" and i said "my 18th birthday" and then he went and said that i'm going to be 18 and that means he can set me on my ass. i told my mom if anything happens to call the police.

my mom said nothing is going to happen. but i have no idea what could truly happen. i'm not going to lie, i'm scared he's going to do something like punch me or some shit.

i had told my job coach and the owner of the hair salon i work at about it and my job coach went and said that she should report that. i wish i wouldn't have said anything. like what if she does report it? i'll be in so much trouble.

i don't think she will. i don't know. but i kinda wish it would happen but he would get removed from my house, not me or my sister.

god i just need to get my life together and find my own place when i'm ready and asap.

i must get out of this house and away from him because it's what is best for myself. he can go to hell for all i care. i swear he better not be there when i die because i hate him so fucking much.

he doesn't deserve any nice feeling from me. he doesn't deserve my kindness or shit from me.

so he can go fucking DIE. i don't want to be fucking upset when he dies. i'll try not to be upset about it. if he's gone i'll benefit from it.