Depressing Shit

October 4, 2016

You know what?

Fuck off, that's what.

I don't want to hear how you "understand what I'm going through". I don't want to hear your "wise words of wisdom". I don't want to be told I just need to talk about it. I don't want people telling me everything will be okay. I don't want to be treated like a piece of glass.

You can fuck right off if you're going to say anything like that to me.

Until you live with a violent person that threatens your life, you won't understand. Until you've woken up with said violent person standing over your bed watching you sleep, you won't understand. Until you've had to wrestle for your life while no one else is home, you won't understand. Until you hide in your room while home alone because you know he's stronger than you and you can't fight him, you won't understand. Until you've had to chase him through the neighborhood because he's trying to run away, again, you won't understand. Until you tiptoe around your own family in fear of what will happen, you won't understand. Until you find you're brother tried to hang himself on your birthday, you won't fucking understand.

No, I cannot love him more to make him better. No, he does not need more hugs. No, I do not need to be more active in his life. No, forgiving him will not help me. No, none of your suggestions will magically make him better and erase 11 years of trauma.

I dont care if you're trying to help, you know nothing about my life nor about my situation. You get to leave when he start misbehaving and you get to avoid the freak outs. You don't live through what I do.

The only way you can help me is by listening. Do not try to tell me how to make it better. Do not try to tell me how to cope. Do not try to relate to my situation unless you live with a violent mentally ill person.

If you try to, then you know what?

Fuck off.

I realize you're trying to help but all it does is piss me off and make me want to punch you in your fucking throat. You don't get to comment until you understand.

So you know what?

Fuck off.