Last To Know *COMPLETED*

Last To Know- Chapter 6

Chapter 6-

Warning: THIS CHAPTER IS NOT A LETTER!!

I sat at my same little table, thinking. I don't know how long I had been sitting there, just that I hadn't done much of anything since I started 'thinking'.

The main thing, I wanted terribly to get out of this rotting hole. I hated it here, not that life without Jill was any better. I guessed my living here wasn't all that bad, because I knew of some criminals that had it much worse. I had thought at first, maybe at the beginning, I deserved worse than this. But being alone, in this cell... not even a visitor every once in a while... here, it was dreadful. I looked at the calendar on my wall. Five hundred and three more days... that's when I would be leaving this crappy place. And in all the time I had been here, I had not made a single 'jail buddy'. The thought made me cringe.

I was lucky enough to still have my religion. My bible lay on the other desk, along with my letter to James. James; the one who was living happily with my love. James; the one who filled her life, when I couldn't. Not because I didn't love her, because I did, and still do. But because, because I, Aaron Stewart... I took away someone very close to her, someone close to me. That thought still makes my heart fail, despite the fact that she said she forgave me.

I thought about this part of my letter...

James, I know I'm in jail at the moment, but I just want you to know, God had me do what I did for a reason. You and I might not see it now, but it's the truth. I don't know what your religion is, but I know mine. I should have thought about my actions, should have thought everything through, but I didn't. And it was all for a reason. But we might be the last ones to know why. Just think about that as you read the rest of my story.

This part of my letter should be like the moral, I guess. But I still don't know if I believe it. Does God really have a real reason for everything? What was the reason for me being here? No reason, I thought. There couldn't be a real reason...

This thought enraged me. I grabbed my bible off the table and threw it into the wall. Instantly I felt guilty, because my aunt, and my parents had raised me to be a Christian, and that brought other terrible thoughts to my mind.

The first was this: Why hadn't my aunt been here? That, I could answer. She was ashamed.

And the second: Why did I just throw my bible? The bible that was supposed to be the center of my life, now torn on the edges, laid on the floor, crumpled. I got up and walked over to where it laid. The very last verses on the page:

1 Peter 5: 6-7- "Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time:

Casting all your care upon him, for he careth for you."

Wow, that verse, those two verses, made me think. I knew that all along...

God really does have a reason for everything... It's called his will. I started crying.

Just like the last time, I cried and cried. When I thought I was done crying, I cried some more. Some of the rotten criminals around me started laughing, and some just smiled. But there were a few, just a few, that started crying, too.

But, unlike the last time... I was crying because I was happy. I was so glad that God has a will for anything and everything. It brought me a new hope, this hope that... I have a real purpose.