Last To Know *COMPLETED*

Last To Know Chapter 8

Chapter 8-

"You know, I'm leaving in a week." I said, not wanting it to be true.

"I know." She looked so sad it pained me.

I said nothing, not knowing what to do. I had pointed out the (painfully) obvious truth to the person I loved, and then I had dropped the subject. What a JERK, I thought to myself.

"So....?" She gazed up at me, smiling slightly.

"Well, I was just.... Just..." I couldn't finish the sentence. I simply gazed around the sidewalk, knowing I'd miss this city, that I'd miss Jill, and that when I left, I'd never be the same again. People were walking along the city streets, oblivious to the fact that this vacation was slapping me in the face. It enraged me. I couldn't stand it.

"Just wondering why we're doing this?" Jill apparently finished my sentence, though I hadn't remembered.

"What?"

"Why are we doing this, Aaron? It's only hurting us both. You know it; I know it; Even your aunt knows it."

"Doing what?" I refused to let this conversation get any worse.

"You know that-..." I interrupted her, a bit rudely.

"You know what? Let's make the best of the time we have, and then see what happens after that, okay?"

I stopped walking, turned her to face me and stared into her eyes. "I don't want this to end."

"Neither do I." She said softly. I kissed her then, wondering what the hell I was going to do when I left her.

We did make the best of that last week, going out everyday, and of course, her staying at my house. Jill woke up crying on the last day. I could say I was very close to tears myself. My plane was scheduled to leave at 3:30 that Thursday afternoon.

My aunt had left the room, knowing we needed the time alone. I thanked her silently. It was one less stress that I needed to bear. As we sat at the table eating breakfast, Jill began crying again. "I love you." She mouthed.

I instantly went rigid. I didn't know what to say. "I love you, too." I said aloud. She smiled and reached across the table to hold my hand. I really hadn't realized the truth, that I did love her.

That only made things worse for me, knowing I loved her made it that much harder to leave.

We spent the day in the city again, where I bought her a few more outfits to fill her closet. I guessed she would still be staying at my aunts'. Her brother had really interested me, because of his genuine outlook on life. Both Jill and her brother seemingly refused to dwell on the negative. Jill hadn't complained about not having furniture, clothes, or anything else all week; neither had her brother. I admired them both for that.

We were both crying (Even my aunt) as we drove to the airport.

"I promise," I told Jill, "I'll write once every week." That seemed to calm her, if only for a moment. She was still sobbing as she walked as far as she was allowed with me. I kissed her passionately, and then I boarded the plane, leaving her, my aunt, and my new life behind.

James, I know this is a little hard for you, reading a letter from a freak that loved (and still loves) your wife. But it all needs to be said. It seems important to me to make sure you understand that it was never my intention to even hurt Jill's brother, much less do what I did to him, and the entire family.

I also think its imperative that you think: How else would you have met Jill? If I hadn't done this to her, would you have found the love of your life? I can't answer these questions for you, it's up to you. Honestly, It would hard to answer them for myself, if I were in your position.

I'm now almost forty. It seems I should have had plenty of time to think about this story, since it all happened to me. I'll be getting out of this hole in a few months, and I still don't think I've truly learned my lesson. I know I'll never forgive myself for the pain and loss I've caused you and Jill.

I'll never forget the last look I saw on Dakota's face, even if it was tattered and hazed by the beer I'd had. I'll never forget when I'd heard about the tragedy that happened a few hours later. And, most importantly, I'll never forget how much I loved Jill, and how much she still means to me. If you two are reading this together, I hope you can't forgive me, as I will never forgive myself.