Last To Know *COMPLETED*

Last to Know Chapter 19

Chapter 19-

James Lowman was not swayed. James Lowman was a frozen glacier, moving so close, but so slowly to his final destination. He was a captain without his crew, as lost as lost could be. He was... he was-

Guilty.

Guilty of many charges, as they should be: stealing- a woman away from her love; lying- to the same love, only to tear her heart in two.

James stared at the long letter before him, seeing but not seeing the words running across the page.

The name signed at the bottom. The handwriting that must've taken days. The paper itself, tattered and tear-stained. These were the signs that he'd gone wrong.

He was, after all, just a middle-aged man, in love, but not deeply in love. Alive, but only for life itself. There was no real joy, no real happiness in stealing this woman from someone else.

So why not give her back?

He guessed that would be up to Jill to decide. She loved the both of them, so that would not make her decision easy.

James' life was a normal one. He worked at the same company that his wife did, seeing her every day, holding her every night. He had his pals, parties and nights out, and kept his marriage strong and firm.

He had stayed with this wonderful girl for almost fifteen years, and only now did he think of why he had her love. He'd stolen it, along with her life.

Her love was not rightfully his. And so it should be: He was going to fix things.

Jill Brewer was a woman. A strong one, a bold one. She was in love, with her husband, of course. Maybe the strangest part was that she was in love with someone else, too. Someone she had lost.

Aaron was her first, her one and only. He was the one who made her laugh, cry, smile, and think. This man, this wonder of life, was the one who made her find the joys, the miracles, the opportunities.

He was the one for her.

But then there was James, her husband for fifteen years. He had cared for her in high school, been there when no one else had. He'd showered her with joys in his own way, and his only flaw was his jealousy.

He had blackmailed her; he had threatened her, just to be with him. But, during that time of fear, she had grown in love for him.

What was this love when it was formed from jealousy? What was this longing when it was real?

It was her life now. James was her life now. Who was she to back out on the future, to leave it where it was?

Who was she to be so selfish and leave James alone?

Only, she told herself, only if he didn't love her anymore. Then she would leave.

Lately, the night had been rough for her, especially since that letter had arrived. She guessed it was God's way of warning her that everything was going to change. As Jill was just getting out of the shower one morning, readying herself for work, James' voice echoed from the parlor.

"Jill? Honey, can you come here?"

Jill, in her beauty, walked into the parlor, smiling. She saw the pages of the letter sprawled out on the coffee table, and her frown disappeared. "You're still reading that?"

"Of course. Well, I'm done now." James had read a few pages every morning for a few weeks, trying to finish this out of courtesy. But only the last few parts of the letter had changed him. He took a sip of his second cup of coffee, smiled ruefully at Jill, and sat back in his chair.

"I need to talk to you."

Jill just stared, knowing the things that might come. Just as she thought, James' eyes began to brighten, showing his moments of weakness.

"I think... I think I should leave."

"What do you mean?"

"I think... we should separate. I've been... touched by this letter. I can't imagine; you can't imagine the guilt I would feel if you stayed with me. I did blackmail you. I mean, it was my fault that you stayed with me. And, you only love me because of it."

"James, you know that's not true! I love you for you. It's not because of your plans, or whatever. That was years ago, and I'll be damned if Aaron even still loves me after everything he's been through."

"You'll be damned?" James looked at this woman, the one he cared about so deeply. "He still loves you. As if it's not obvious. God, Jill! This man would die for you! He's waited, all this time, for you."

James had no control over his voice. It was as if the Lord was leading him in the right direction. He gladly took it, trying to be good. But he couldn't keep the truth away from his eyes.

Jill saw the way his eyes held her, and knew that he had proven his love, because of the way he was sacrificing her.

"We still have a month to decide." Jill said, trying to put things off.

"That's not as long as you think. Fifteen years... Jill. Look at me." James took her face in his hands and kissed her gently. "Fifteen years can go by like that. And you never know what you've lost."

"You never know what you've lost." Jill repeated, and pulled him in for a hug.