Ive never been that girl. The girl that needs a man in order to feel completed or worth something. At least I thought that wasn't me until my last relationship. I truly felt as if I needed him in order to survive but at the same time we both went into it knowing that it was a bad idea and wouldn't last. But that doesn't mean when the relationship ended I wasn't devastated. I honestly thought that I was going to die from how worthless and depressed I felt. It was almost like I was in a bad dream and couldn't wake up. I felt like my life had no meaning anymore and I would feel like this forever. The sad part was it had already been six months and I wasn't feeling any better. Life went on though. Work continued as usual. My friends finally talked me into going out with them again and slowly but surely started to forget about my ex. But the pain was still there. It was like it had made a nest in my heart and wouldn't leave.
A few days had gone by and I was laying in my bed flipping through channels on the tv when I received a text from my best friend, Laura. 'Daniel and I got invited to some kind of charity event and he can't make it. So will you go with me!?' It read. I put my phone down and starred at the ceiling trying to come up with a good excuse of why I couldn't go but nothing came to mind. 'I could never let you down. Day/time?' I responded. My phone quickly buzzed back with a response but instead of reading it I got up and went into my bathroom to start a bath. As the water started running, I went through my basket of bath bombs from lush looking for my favourite one. Once I found it and dropped it into the bath, I quickly changed into my dressing gown turned off the water and went into the kitchen to pour a glass of wine. Back in the bathroom, I lit a few candles, dimmed the lights and turned on some music before finally settling into my relaxing bath. Just as I was about to pour myself a third glass a knock on the front door caught my attention. After about five minutes of waiting to see if the person would go away the knocks continued. With my dressing gown wrapped around my damp body I went to go answer the door and to my surprise it was Laura. 'What are you doing here?' I asked. She pushed past me and walked straight into my house. 'It's been an hour and you didn't respond to my text so I wanted to make sure you were alright. Plus I needed to tell you something that might upset you and I don't want to but I think I should.' I looked at her confused and then crossed my arms over my chest. 'Go ahead then.' I said not knowing what she was about to say. 'You wanna sit down? Maybe have a drink.' Laura asked trying to distract me. 'Laur! Bloody tell me already!' She looked at me with a sympathetic face and I could tell I knew who she was about to talk about. 'Nick is engaged. It happened about three months ago and I thought it was just silly rumours but it's not.' I was completely speechless and in a way kind of hurt that it happened so fast. 'So that means three months after he left me he got engaged. Three months. I look like a fucking idiot now for being so upset over losing him and he's off getting engaged.' Laura wrapped her arms around me and squeezed as tight as she could without cutting off my oxygen. 'I didn't want to tell you but I also didn't want you to hear about it from someone else and be surprised.' She pulled back and walked me over to my sofa. 'It's fine. I'm better off without him and I hope whoever she is he treats her better.' I said forcing a smile on my face. 'Are you sure? It's totally okay if you're upset, I understand. I mean he was a dickhead but I understand if you're mad.' I needed her to believe I was fine so she wouldn't worry about me and go home because all I wanted to do was crawl in a ball and cry. 'Really, I'm good. Nothing a bottle of wine can't fix right?' I let out a small chuckle and then hugged her. 'Really, Laura. Thank you for telling me but I'll be okay. It was bound to happen one day just didn't think it would be so soon.' We got up and I walked her to the door and watched her leave.
I needed to be strong and not let the news about Nick get to me. I changed into a night shirt and then crawled back into bed. I reached over to my phone to read the missed text from Laura. 'Wednesday and I'll pick you up around eight. Love you.' Since today is Sunday that gives me two full days to be miserable and then I have to let it go. Eventually I settled on a movie to watch and slowly fell asleep but not before I spent almost an hour crying. I just kept telling myself that it would get better and one day all this pain wouldn't matter. At least I hoped it wouldn't.
