The Trickster's Bride

Chapter Twenty-Seven: Rani

After our wedding, Loki and I settled into an awkward routine at Laufeyson Manor. We didn't see much of each other. At first, this brought me great sorrow. After all, I was meant to help my husband and bring him happiness. How could I do that if he avoided me at all costs?

As is my nature, I spent some time pitying my situation, giving up each day only to rekindle my sense of purpose as I lay sleepless in my bed. Alone in my bed, that is. Loki and I didn't even share chambers, and he was conveniently "out" each time I knocked at his bedroom door.

But eventually, Frigga's lecture from before the wedding came to mind and I plotted a new course of action.

Loki was a man who kept to himself, yes. But eventually, the day would come where he truly needed me. Until then, I would bide my time.

I had enough to keep me busy until then. Laufeyson, though it was not as grand as some Aesir's homes, still required a certain amount of upkeep. Since I was the Lady of the house, all the servants answered to me. With my supervision, they made sure my new home was cleaned and revitalized. I even hitched up my skirts and helped scrub the floors. This, of course, sent the servants into a frenzy. But I ignored their protests and kept cleaning. I was not above lending a hand.

Thus, for the autumn months preceding the upcoming winter, I turned Laufeyson inside out. With the help of the servants, we dusted, rearranged, and scrubbed everything in our path. I ordered the outer stones scrubbed and the roof repaired. I put all of my energy into making Laufeyson somewhere I could call home. And on the warmer days, I spent my time in the garden or courtyard, weeding and raking.

But soon, autumn gracefully became winter. There was no snow yet, only frigid cold and bitter winds. With the manor finally in order, I focused on my work as an Aesir.

Odin had given me an intricate globe of Midgard as a wedding present. But this wasn't just a plain old globe. With the slightest touch from my hand, the colorful drawings would come to life before me, hovering in the air. I could do anything I pleased with it, from focusing in on specific places, or seeing it as a whole. This was how I kept up with my role as Goddess. I would send rains or sun, snows or clouds over the lands and seas. I was the patroness of Sailors, and they prayed to me and honored me so that I would work things in their favor, just like they did my father. I wanted to please everyone, but quickly learned that this would only lead to disaster.

I had to communicate with other gods so we could work together to meet our goals. Odin, of course, was our main source of information. Odin held a council every day at the Well of Urd to decide the fates of man. I was always invited to these functions, but I chose to stay at Laufeyson. I was wary of the questions of my peers. I had never been a good liar, and I didn't want them to gossip about mine and Loki's woes. So instead, my study's window was always full of Odin's ravens, sending me messages back and forth.

My fields of work allowed me to commune with many other deities. There was Thor, of course, who added his glorious thunder and lighting to my storms. He was an enthusiastic one, he was. I was also directly associated with my brother Freyr, for it was his job to keep the earth fertile. Under his direction, I sent the steady rains that encouraged plant growth. Sif was also very busy, as it was harvest time. By her word, I kept the rains from destroying crops. And, of course, I worked with my father. As God of the Wind and Seas, our relationship was the closest, since I needed both for my goals. My storms and rains would not pass if not for Njord's winds, and without the seas, my Navigation would be useless. We could only converse via the globe, since he had one similar to mine, but each conversation was one I cherished.

All of this hard work benefited me greatly. As I did my job, I grew more confident and powerful. And since I was so skilled, I was bestowed with special gifts. Thor and Njord both lent me some of their own powers, so that I could bend the elements of Wind and Lightning to my whims. These things were quite an honor, and I was trusted to never use such things lightly. It also made all of our jobs easier. And with these new powers, I was able to alter the weather of Asgard, too. Unlike Midgard, the climate of Asgard changed of its own accord. But if it was raining and I needed sun, all I had to do was summon a light wind to chase away the clouds. Freyr, happy with my success, blessed my little garden so that it bloomed all year long. Not even below freezing temperatures could kill my happy little patch of land. I was, once again, very blessed. My Aesir family doted on me, and I did my best to please them in return.

It didn't take me long to figure out how to set everything up so I didn't have to pore over my magic globe every single day. And though I tried to keep myself entertained, as the months passed, my life became quite boring. Loki was somehow always busy, and I kept to my decision to let him be. Freyja tried to visit as often as she could, but she was very busy as well.

Freyja, always my main confidante, was the only one who knew of the distance between my husband and I. She agreed with my decision, recognizing that if I interfered too much, Loki would only isolate himself more. We hadn't even made love again in the three months we'd been married.

"Perhaps more intimacy would bring him closer?" Freyja had suggested on one of her visits.

I shook my head. "He likes to be in charge," I explained. "That's one thing I will always let him dictate."

Freyja had made a face. As the Goddess of Sex, she was baffled at our strange relationship. But she did not judge, and trusted in me.

"I do ask one thing, however," I ventured slowly. I'd put much thought into my request, but I still dreaded to ask.

"What is it?" Freyja inquired, always eager to lend me a hand.

"Well," I hesitated. "We aren't having any relations anyway. But I was wondering if there's some way to put off childbearing." I trailed off, waiting for Freyja to give me a look of disappointment.

"Oh yes!" she said brightly. "I can surely help you with that. But why do you want me to do this?"

I sighed. "Until Loki and I are on good terms," I told her, "I would rather not have a child. I want my children to have happy, loving parents like I did." The mention of my foster parents brought an old ache to my heart. I knew they were very happy, but I longed for them. They often prayed to me, and I tried to send little messages when I could. They were aging, and my brothers now had families of their own. Time had gone by much faster in Midgard. I made a vow to see them soon.

Freyja nodded sagely. "Completely understandable," she said. I was relieved that my sister had been so sympathetic. But then again, she had had her fair share of lovers, and no children to date. Of course she would comprehend my situation.

I had expected some long, drawn-out ritual of sorts. But all she did was place her hand over my womb, and close her eyes. I felt a strange tingling sensation, and that was all.

"You won't have your menses for some time," she explained. "And once you decide you want a child, simply let me know."

I thanked her profusely, immensely relieved. I had seen how Freyr and Freyja had suffered, knowing their parents disliked one another. I didn't want that for my own children.

And yes, I was still clinging to the hope that someday, Loki and I would fall in love.