Insomniac

Anxiety in All Levels

  Then another Saturday arrived, which meant Chris and me were gonna have an afternoon together, lastly I had been focusing so much on Caleb, he made me feel  comfortable and nice but in no way did the feeling overpassed he love I felt for Chris, anyway Chris used to see it differently, he even thought I ... I was secretly mischiefing him with Cleb which was stupid since well...Caleb had gotten to make me tremble when he approached, but Chris did more, and in his hands I felt like heaven on Earth, and in his eyes I found my treasure, so I wanted to clearify the whole thing to him since I hated to be "fought " with him, I planned a forever with him and in no way was I giving up on that!

 We were gonna meet by 5'30pm ....however he arrived little before, this was a special occasion since my parents had deceided, for the first time, let him come even when they ere not gonna be at house, this meant a little more of freedom, the afternoon was perfect and golden and little cold, it reminded me of our first dates, in my house sitted at the old rusty swings moving back and forth and listening to m fav Owl City songs, or so also those first November days with cold wearing our sweaters and laying in the grass handtaken, it remembered me the first time his lips touched mine and how gorgeous it was, then I heard the knocking of the door and went to open him.

 "Hello"- he said with his perfect voice and deep eyes

 "Hey"- I said a little nervous

 "How are you?" 

"Fine and You?"

"Fine, even better now"

 "I need to talk with you...ammm.. seriously, can we just go out to the log?"

"Uff...I wonder what happened, yeah, take my hand, let's go."

Since the first day we used to go out to the "meadow"  of trees and grass, and there was a log surrounded of green grass and some purple wildflowers plus yellow ones. We walked in silence as I felt his serious stare, just trying to guess what was I gonna tell him, there was a thick lump in my throat, and I felt like shivering, and my hands were more cold than usual. We finally arrived and sitted , one infront the another .

 "What is it?"- he asked seriously

"Humm, I agreed to be a 100 percent honest with you about everything, always and that's why I want to let something clear..it's about Caleb, I know what you think and it isn't like that, he is virtuous but he isn't like you to me, nor even better...yes, he likes me, but nothing as you, you're the only one, and I'm attempting to keep him away, now it's gonna work cause it's by myself but I need you to swear that you will trust me and love me and be the warm person I felt in love with, could you?"- I said managing to pronounce every word carefully and slowly, and holding back tears.

"I already knew you like him, I noticed the passed days I went to the track with you and your Mom, the stares were easy to read, but I'm thankful that you are this honest...I don't want to share you, I won't share you, just you and I right? Like the song I sent you, just you and I forever , there's nothing to forgive, my love for you overpasses it all."- he said, as a few tears rolled out of his cheeks and he kept the intensity of his wonderful voice.

 He was now stronger, when we just started to date he was a thin stick but he had been  into the Bar Brothers and now...well he liked me more than myself, he approached very slowly and placed his hand on my face, he breathed on me and I shivered as a child, not afraid but eager! Then I couldn't wait any longer, and I approached to meet him, we kissed but love and passion and feeling and I ...I felt, I felt like Heaven, I forgot to breathe but there was no need to do so! He was my home.