The Bully (Frerard)(Completed)

Chapter 17: I Deserve The Pain

Woooooo update! :D And, I just wanted you guys to know..... That if you've stuck with my story this far, I love you! <3 You're my babies! Along with band members, they're my babies, they just don't know it. So, I hope you have/had a nice day and love me back, hopefully.

You can read the story now!

xoxoCrashFire

*~*~*~*~*~*

Frank's POV:

I walk into my house trembling with sadness, anger, and disbelief. I just told Gerard that I didn't want to be his boyfriend anymore. I can't believe I did that, I got what I've been wanting for a year and eight months. We dated for eight days and I broke up with him. The guy I love.

I run up to my room and slam the door, mom's not home so I'm just... I'm gonna take my anger out.

The first thing I do is scream, I yell, shout, and stomp around.

"Why?! Why did I fucking do that?! Ahhh! Fuck!" I scream out as loud as I can.

I kick the wall and punch my door. I throw my case full of brand new guitar picks and rip the pictures off the walls. I stomp my feet and rip at my hair. I smash breakable things and rip up papers.

I scream more, "I hate you! You're so stupid! How could you do that?!"


I hear footsteps rushing up the stairs and then my door is thrown open, "Frank? What happened?" Mikey's calm voice broke through my shouting and outburst of random curses to myself.

"I broke up with Gerard.."

"What?! Why?" That was Ray..

"He.. He.. He beat me up today.. At school," I whimper through my tears and sobs.

"Why?" Mikey asks in a soft, caring voice.

"Greyson told him to."

I hear Mikey growl deep in his throat and then he walks next to me and kneels down, "Let me see," he orders.

I turn around and show him the black eye then take off my shirt to show the deep bruises that had formed.

"Did Gerard do all of that?" He whispers in shock while touching my bruises.

"The eye and my stomach... The rest was Greyson," I put my shirt back on and walk over to my bed.

"So, uh, you were screaming because you broke up with Gerard?"

I nod and look out my window, "I hurt him, and it hurts me to know that."

Ray says, "Maybe try to... Make up with him?"

"I can't... I just crushed him like 45 minutes ago and I'm pretty sure he hates me now," saying that brought fresh tears to my eyes and a new wave of sad trembling, "I can't.. I just... I love him but I don't want to hurt him more."

"He doesn't hate you," Mikey whispers, "I went in his room before I left to see how he was doing, I caught a glimpse of the picture he was working on..." He stops there, I wait for him to continue, but he doesn't. He just stands there, staring at me.

"He was working on....?" I urge on curiously.

"It was a picture of... Two broken hearts, one half of each of the broken hearts were sewn to the other. It very clearly said, 'Frank Iero, I love you.' Just at the top.. The picture was very beautiful."

"So, he's referring to both of us as broken?" I try to elaborate.

"I'm guessing so, and honestly, I agree. You were broken when you came, through these past years, and currently. He's been broken since mom and dad split."


I'm broken. I am broken. I was broken when I came, those bullies broke me, my parents broke me, my childhood broke me.

Moving broke me, being lonely broke me.....





Gerard Broke Me.

The person who broke me... Is also trying to fix me.


*~*~*~*~*~*Next Day

I'm trying to figure out if I should skip or not, go back to Skylar's.

I decide against it and get my shit together and leave early, before Gerard.

As soon as I walk out, Gerard walks out.

Mother fuck.

I just walk, head down, ear buds in.




I walk inside school and immediately what I was waiting for happened.

Greyson Stortz shoves me straight into the lockers.

It feels great, I know I'm not supposed to think this, but it feels.... Satisfying.

I smile and wait for more to come.

A punch.
Another.
Another.
A shove.
A kick.
Another.
Five more.
Ten.
Fifteen.
Twenty.
I lose track and eventually feel my mind zoning out and coming back, I'm falling in and out of consciousness and I'm fighting to stay awake. I need to feel this pain, the emotional pain is only making my body ache for more physical pain.

Eventually, the kicks stop and I'm left feeling satisfied, yet upset. Upset because they stopped. I wanted to be kicked and beaten until I couldn't stay awake anymore. The amount of pain I caused Gerard only made me feel like I deserve that to happen.

~*Lunch*~

I'm eating outside today, it's a nice day and I want to put my bruises on display. I take off my jacket and make sure to show it all, this is what being an asshole does for me. I'm only showing these because I deserve it. I deserve all the pain, the stares, and the judgement all because I hurt Gerard. My love.


"Oh, Iero survived?" I hear Greyson taunt.

"Yep, come back for more?" I ask in a little bit of a cheery tone.

"You know I love beating you senseless, so why do you ask?"

I just shrug and stand.

"Actually, it's Geetard's turn this time," Greyson smirks and shoves Gerard forward.

Gerard turns around and says, "I gotta plan, let me take care of it, you just go eat."

"Sure thing, Way!"

Gerard turns around and pretends to forcibly shove me around, dammit, Gerard...

We get to the boys' bathroom in the social studies hall, least used.

"Frank, what the hell? You looked like you wanted to get beaten!"

"Because I do."

"What? Why?!"

"Because I hurt you, I deserve it for causing you pain," I say it calmly and with a straight face. No added emotion, nothing.

"I'm not hurting you, I refuse to," he instead sits me down on the counter and stands in front of me.

"Gerard. Make me feel the pain I caused you, I deserve it and you know it!"

"No, Frank! You don't deserve it! I've caused you pain for two years straight, the only break you ever got from it was on holidays and days I wasn't home all day. You don't deserve any pain! I do, I deserved the pain you caused me, I needed it. I know how you felt all those times..." He had tears pricking his eyes, ugh. Guess I'm not getting what I deserve...

I think realization hit me in the face, because suddenly I'm not on the verge of begging him to hit me anymore, I'm actually fearing that I'll get hit again, and it's almost impossible to find my voice, "I'm so sorry, Gerard," I whisper out in a hoarse voice.

"Don't apologize, please don't."

I get up off the counter and hug him around the waist, "But I am, I'm so sorry!"

"I love you, Frankie."

I freeze up, I'm not ready to say that, why, Gerard?! I just don't reply, I don't want to say it yet, not for a little while. Those words mean too much to throw around.


I'm not sure if I even do love him, I know I said it and thought it, but only Mikey and Ray heard that, and only brain and ears have heard it.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Wrote this yesterday when I got back from school, at midnight, and now, 20 minutes before I have to leave for school! Christmas break is almost here so I won't have to rush and ruin the story anymore! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY! Well, enjoy!

I love you all!

xoxoCrashFire