Indecisive 2 (Sequel)

Chapter 36: Leaving Again

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Recap of 35:

"What two? Three?"

"Two and a half."

"That's not bad," I glance over to see a small smile spread across her lips.

"We're going straight from promo to the tour. Not days Whitney, months."

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Whitney POV:

*Song- Breathe Me: Sia or Skinny Love: Bon Iver

I close the door behind me, pacing quickly up the sidewalk.

"Whitney."

I can hear his footsteps right behind but I don't slow, proceeding to open the door. I hear it click and lock shut behind me and let out a heavy sigh.

"Go home Harry." I coarsely mumble.

"What?" His voice cracks with surprise.

I force myself to turn and face him which breaks whats left of my heart. His hands are shuffled into the front pocket of his black skinny jeans, expression set so his lips are pressed so a serious line.

"Don't you see it Harry? This is pointless." I wave my hands in the air dramatically before continuing. "The past four months are pointless because all we're going to end up is back at the very start." Defeat brims my tone and the burning ache in my chest.

"It's not like that," his hands are drawn into his curls as he proceeds to decrease the space between us.

"You can come with me." He firmly replies.

My breaths are shallow in contrast to the rapid pace my heart withholds, yearning with everything I am that what he said could be possible.

"I already told you Harry I can't."

"Yes you can. Look you can quit that damn job of yours and we can spend those two and a half months together. Don't you want that?"

I let out a heavy sigh, "Of course I want that Harry but it's not that simple-"

"Yes it is." He shortly replies, his nostrils flaring in annoyance.

"No it's not," I counter drawling in a deep breath before mustering up the courage to admit my deepest fears.

"If I go with you it proves nothing. It proves I'm the same broken girl you were when you left before. That I need you more than I should. That without you I am nothing."

I bite my bottom lip as I speak the words I am afraid of the most, "and the worst part is it's all true. I already know it but going with you would just set it in stone."

"I can take care of you," his hand reaches up to cup my cheek, "please j-just let me take care of you."

"It's not that simple." I slowly respond avoiding his eyes and finding sudden interest in the pattern of the couch fabric.

Harry breaths in a deep breath before seething, "You keep saying that but-"

My lips mold into a frown at his harsh tone.

Harry glances back at me, pausing to wrap his hands around my back. The gesture brings my gaze up to see the apology behind his deep green hues before the words leave his lips in a gentle tone this time.

"That scares the hell out of me to hear Whit. When you're not taking care of yourself it's up to me."

"Oh well I'm sorry to be such a burden on you," I sarcastically remark while absorbing the sting of his words even though I know he didn't mean them like that. That he's referring to something else entirely that perhaps frightens me more.

"That's not what I meant and you know it."

"W-Well what gives you the right to say I haven't been taking care of myself! I got a job-"

"As a half naked bartender who dances on the side-"

"You're unbelievable Harry." I twist around but his hand catches my forearm in restraint before I van take a single step.

"You know I wasn't talking about your job when I said that either. I'm worried about you a-and you can't keep pushing me away when I-"

"When you what Harry? When you insult me by telling me how I'm helpless? How I'm unfixable? How I'll always be this way because I selfishly refuse your help?" My screaming turns into tears brimming in my eyes.

"No." Harry shakes his head with his brow knit together in an emotion I can't decipher.

Harrys voice softens to a whisper while the pads of his fingertips brush my bony arm. "You can't keep pushing me away when it's no longer a matter of me helping you but a question of you actually living for me to help you another day."

A chill transcends my spine as I see the worry behind his eyes and can almost feel it empathically transfix into my veins. A connection stronger than a fickle emotion.

"I know," I mumble so tired of hiding behind pretending to be fine. Him calling me out on everything is like a breath of fresh air after being suffocated relentlessly for so long.

The tears begin to stream down my cheeks.

"Aw babe come here," Harry coos before a pair of strong arms are wrapped around my small frame.

I rest my head against the crook of his neck holding onto what I won't be able to hold for much longer.

My everything.

"I don't want you to leave," I sob staining the shoulder of his white tee.

"Shh," his hand grips behind my neck, skimming the pads of his fingers gently through my silky hair before circling my back.

"It's going to be okay. I'm going to make sure you get help."

"Help?" I draw away slightly peering through my glossy eyes into his.

"You can't go on like this," his eyes search across mine meaningfully, "I've tried everything but we both know it's not enough."

My digits cling to the thin fabric of his tee, "but I want it to be," I mumble before more tears seep through my lashes.

"I want that too," Harry pauses to wipe my cheek the right dimple poking out, "more than anything babe."

My hands firmly hold on to his upper arms as I tilt my head, drifting in to connect my lips to his. They are warm and bring a tingling sensation to mine almost instantly. The emptiness and longing that already began to form in the pit of my stomach from knowing about his departure in just three days slowly subsides momentarily. Replaced with a feeling much stronger.

"I love you so much." I say without a fragment of doubt in my mind.

Harrys lips slowly linger from mine after a few swipes of his tongue against mine.

His emerald eyes pierce into me, "I love you Whitney," the grin that appears with the raspy words melt whats left of me, "I love you more than I've ever loved anyone or anything." He draws in a slow breath before cupping my cheek and deepening our stare, "And thats why I need you to be strong for me."

I felt like anything but that.

"I'll try." I whisper.

"No," he shakes his head, "I need you to promise me. Promise me you'll be honest with me and hear me out."

"Okay," I nod taking an inward breath. "I promise."