Indecisive 2 (Sequel)

Chapter 42: 3 Months Later

Hi I'm back...3 months later, which gave me an idea for the story. Thank you so much if you're still reading and for bearing through my super slow updates. If you want a quick recap of last chapter, Whitney encountered Andy, Julie, and Harry at the motel. Or I also copied the last bit to refresh your mind :)

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Chapter 41 recap:

“You didn’t go with him? God Whit I was so fucking worried- You don’t know what he’s capable of- It was stupid but you were confused. You’re okay though? Right?” He eyes me up and down inspecting every inch of my body.

I step forward and my arms wrap around him, taking in his scent of fresh aftershave. His hands glide up and down my back soothingly as he whispers apologies in my ear. He pulls back, cupping my chin before pressing his warm lips onto mine. There soft and my stomach flutters on cloud nine as they move against mine.

“Do you forgive me baby?” he asks his harmonic voice like a sweet melody.

And I already know that’s all I want. To be his. No matter how many mistakes he’s made in the past. I convince myself it’s all a misunderstanding.

But then I snap out of it,

And I’m still standing there, never having entered his arms.

Standing there wondering if I’m okay.

And he's still looking at me, waiting for me to run into his arms or turn around and never look back.

Behind him I catch sight of my reflection in the shiny black exterior of the car behind him. The person I see isn’t me. It’s never been me.

All I can hear is everyone’s words from the past few months replaying in my mind. How many times I denied the truth so many times I almost had myself convinced.

And in that instant there’s know more denial.

No more pain.

Just the feeling of complete and utter emptiness that traverses from my heart to the pit of my stomach making me aware,

That time has come around again.

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Chapter 42: 3 Months Later

Song: Stay With Me by Sam Smith

Whitney POV:

3 months later.

I lie my suitcase on my bed, my eyes scanning around the room that’s been my temporary home for the last three months.

I can’t believe the time has come already to leave this place. I walk over to my nightstand and open the top drawer, pulling out the stack of envelopes all with unopened seems.

I sit down on the edge of my bed grasping them in my shaky hands while taking in a deep breath I pick the one off the top.

The first one he sent me.

My dearest Whitney,

                I first want to tell you how proud I am of you. You’re the strongest person I know and I know you can get through this. My heart is still there with you even if I am not. I just want you to know if it was up to me I would be there with you in a fucking heartbeat. But I want you to know I respect your decision, as much as it was hard to do so.

                I hope when you walk out of that place it will be with the biggest smile on your face, knowing you’ve taken the biggest step in overcoming something that’s tried to tear you down, but knowing you’ve beat it.

                 I know you told me not to wait for you that night we parted but I will, I promise I will. And I mean that with every part of me because I love you. I love you Whitney Deems and while everything may feel so different right now, so unconstant, I promise you that will never change.

With love,

Harry S.

3 months and two days earlier.

“Do you forgive me baby?” Harry asks, his harmonic voice like a sweet melody.

“I don’t know.” I honestly mumble.

Harry takes a step closer, placing his hand on my arm gently, “What can I do? I’ll do anything to make this up to you.”

I shake my head, “I need you to take me somewhere.”

“Okay, anywhere. Where do you want to go? We can go back to my place and talk about things, if you want somewhere quiet. Or theres a café down the road, if you’re hungry. Or if you want to be alone I mean I could drop you off-“

“No Harry.” I interrupt his quick flow of spoken thoughts

“What?”

I look down at my feet, unable to look him in the eye.

“There Harry, I want you to take me there.”

His hand gently tilts my chin up so our eyes meet. He can see it confirmed within them.

“Oh.” He breathes and I watch as his eyes fill with guilt.

“Is it-“

I stop him before he starts to speak, “It’s nothing you did or didn’t do. It’s just something that’s been building and I’ve tried to push below the surface but every so often it breaks that. And now it’s like there’s more and more breaks and the surface and it’s just getting harder not to fall through, no matter how quickly the breaks try to be patched.”

Harry nods understandingly although I’m not sure if that analogy even makes sense to anyone but me.

“Its already 10:50, they are already closed by now. Why don’t you come back with me, just rest on it. We can go first thing in the morning, okay?”

I nod my eyes trailing down as he reaches out his hand. My mind is telling me no, I shouldn’t, not after everything I’ve just found out today. But my heart is yearning for him, knowing this is fare well our last night together. Knowing when I wake up tomorrow I’m not just going to have to face a place that haunts me ever since I left, but let go of the only part that’s been holding the cracks together this whole time.

And who only knows if I’ll ever get that back again.

If I’ll ever get him back again.