Obsessed

Heart Ache

I packed my things up from the hospital, and as I did, Jessica spoke. "I'm so glad she's gone." I didn't say a word.

I wanted the book to remember her, but I have nothing to remember her by, just her name. "The boys are at the hotel, they all want to have a celebration dinner, for you getting out of the hospital. "Okay." I said.

We walked to the first floor of the hospital and just as we walked out, I saw a dark pink/purple book in the garbage. It looked familiar. I'm not the type to garbage dig, but this was worth it.

The initials J.L. was on the cover. It was Jacquelyn's. I picked it up, without Jessica seeing, and slipped it into my duffle bag. I have my memory of her. She was a special girl, whose impact on my life was great.

Jessica and I got into the car and drove back to the hotel. I couldn't stop thinking about Jacquelyn. I was going to be a father, but that idea was over.

"What's wrong babe?" Jessica asked. "Nothing..." She grabbed my hand. "I'm here for you. Always." She said. I couldn't find a bone in my body to believe that statement.
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The whole band gathered around the table and were ready to feast. "I want to make a toast." Phil stood. "To our healthy Brunito, who has been through a lot right now. We love you man, and we will always be brothers. To Bruno!" The rest of the guys raised their glasses and repeated. "To Bruno."

I faked a smile, and raised my glass. Everyone was pigging out, but I didn't have an appetite.

Eric watched me as he stuffed his face with food. I looked at everyone, they seemed to be so happy, but I wasnt.

"Excuse me." I stood up, took my water, and walked out of the room. I opened my phone and tried calling Jacquelyn.

"Hi this is Jacquelyn! Leave me a message and I'll call you back! Bye!" Her voice mail spoke. "Hey Jackie it's Bru, I just wanted to know if you were okay. Call me back. Bye."

"Hey man. What's wrong?" Eric snuck up on me." "Nothing. Just making some phone calls." Eric closed the door and took a seat. "To who?" "That's none of your business E. Can I just have some time to myself please?" I ask. He twisted his lip and said, "Okay man." He stood up and walked out. I locked the door behind him so I would not be disturbed again.

I looked through my phone at a file, I hid from Jessica, from my brothers, from everyone. It was something I'd been meaning to delete, but I never got to it.

I opened the file on my phone and began to observe. It was one of us in bed, another of me kissing her, and her kissing me. We looked like a "happy couple" but that's not what we were. I was Jessica's man. I was in love with Jessica, but these pictures showed other wise.

Jacquelyn's smile was true, it was pure happiness and joy. Guilt constantly ran across my mind. I used her like a puppet. I used her for my needs, and because of that she is gone.

I wanted to make things right, I wanted this guilt to go away, but I didn't know how to. I wanted to start this all over again.