Obsessed

The Signs

Jacquelyn and I had been arguing all day long, and I was just sick of it. Screaming, broken items, left us to be distant for today. We were both too stubborn to apologize and admit that we were wrong.

I was tossing and turning in bed, and I found it difficult to fall asleep. I probably slept for 20 minutes then woke up in between.

I had enough of failing to fall asleep, so I decided to finally get up. Jacquelyn wasn't in the room, maybe she was downstairs. I personally hated arguing with her, I hated being mad at her, and vice versa.

"Jacquelyn, I want to talk." I called out as I was coming down the stairs. It was complete silence. "Jacquelyn! I know you're mad at me, but I want to just talk about this, without arguing." I said. Again, there was silence.

"Jacquelyn where are you?" I began to look in all the rooms. She was gone. I now became angry. She had to have been doing this on purpose. "Jacquelyn stop fucking playing games with me! Get out here!" My voice bounced off of the walls, the only other voice in my house, were my echoes.

"What the hell?" I said to myself. I grabbed my cell phone and called her.

Straight to voice mail.

Maybe she got a hotel room. Was she really that mad at me? So mad that she had to leave for the night? Just the thought of her not being here, made me angry yet sad.
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I finally fell asleep, downstairs on the couch. I kept dreaming that Jacquelyn was home, and we were on good terms again, but when I woke up, I knew, nothing had changed.

I heard keys jingling from outside the door, as they turned the lock. The door creaked open, and Jacquelyn walked in. I sat up on the couch and asked, "Where did you go?"

"I...I went to a friends house." She said. "What friend?" I asked. "Bruno, I'm not trying to argue with you this morning, okay? I need to start pumping this milk." She set her purse and keys down.

"You know what Jacquelyn, your attitude is really beginning to piss me off, and I'm tired of it. First you won't tell me the truth, now you're just pissed off about everything! What the fuck is your problem?" I shouted. "What's my problem? I'll tell you what my problem is Bruno, you. You are the problem. You don't respect my space. You ask me a question and I fucking answer it, but because it's not what you want to fucking hear, I'm either lying, or I have an attitude. You're not my father, nor are you my husband. You're a boy! A boy! I'm sick and tired of arguing with you. Sometimes I just want to lay with you, and hold you're hand, but I can't, because you're so worried about what I'm doing, when I'm not next to you. I don't accuse you of lying, because I trust you. Why can't you do the same for me?"

I said nothing to her. "I went to see Jessica. I was so upset from the argument we had last night, I went to her, since she knows more about you than I do. She's been helping for about 5 months now. When she came to the hospital, I knew she was coming. You never told her about the baby, I did, and she was more than delighted to help through the pregnancy. Why are we talking? She knew Benjamin when you two were together, but didn't become intimate until after the engagement was cut. They got into a quarrel and he hit her. Jessica reached out to me first, and I gave her advice on how to get out of it." Jacquelyn said. "Don't believe me? Well it wouldn't be the first time." She turned and went upstairs to tend to victoria.

When Jacquelyn went upstairs, I tried to comprehend everything she explained to me. I followed her upstairs and into the nursery. Before she even picked up Victoria, I pulled her out of the room, and closed the door. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been acting the way I have. I've just been...stressed lately."

Jacquelyn crossed her arms and asked, "Stressed about what?" I rubbed my fingers through my hair, "I've been having these dreams, that Benjamin took you away from me. Its been scaring me so much."

Jacquelyn held her arms close to her body. "You know what's crazy? I've been having the same dreams, of me being taken away. Being...killed. That's why I asked you what your counselor said about the dreams." She said.