Obsessed

Hiding

It's been about 3 and a half months  since the shooting and Jacquelyn is about half way through 7 months of her pregnancy.

It's been so hard lately. I've been taking care of her when I'm trying to take care of myself. She constantly begs for Xanax for her anxiety, but I threw them down the toilet. We've threatened to leave each other but, something is just holding us together.

It's also been hard, because Jessica has been making popups whenever I went somewhere, whether if I was going to the grocery store to get Jackie something, or to get more things for the baby. I still haven't told her about that. The way we are right now, if I tell her, she's going to think I'm cheating, but if I don't, things can still go wrong.

Another thing, I've been losing money. Since I'm not touring, I'm not getting paid at all. I get little checks here and there, but it's not enough for me. Everything is just falling on top of me and I can't handle any of this.

"Bruno!" Jacquelyn called me from another room. "What?" "Can you rub my feet?" I was at the point where I wanted to say "Rub your own damn feet." But I knew that things were going to get better. At least I hoped.

I walked into the room and grabbed some lotion. I spread it on my hands and began to massage Jacquelyn's feet. "Thank you." She said holding her belly. "My feet are aching so much."

She propped herself up and noticed my stress. "Babe what's wrong?" She asked. "Nothing." "I fucking hate it when you do this shit. Just tell me!" She snapped. "Fine! A lot of shit is wrong! My money! Jessica keeps trying to screw me! You keep bitching at me for throwing away your pills! Dammit, when am I going to try and get my shit together? I want my life back! I wish everything was back to normal! But I can't do it, if you're whining, Jessica's hormones, and my contracts keeps holding me back!" I rant.

Jacquelyn had nothing to say. "We haven't been on the right track at all lately and that's tearing me up the most, but you can't see it because you're so worried about those fucking pills." I was trying really hard not to cry. "My biggest fear is to have a daughter who knows that her parents aren't together! My parents split up, I don't want that for her. I want her to have both of her parents in her life."

She scooted up to the foot of bed and just hugged me. "I'm sorry." She said caressing my head. "I'm sorry for acting the way I have. But God knows I don't want to lose you. I really don't, but we're so used to quitting, we're willing to do it." She said.

"Bruno look at me." She said. I looked at her, and she wiped my eyes. "We're going to have our ups and downs but nothing can tear us apart." She kissed me.

"What's this thing with Jessica?" She asked. "She keeps begging for me back. I haven't touched her. I haven't done anything with her but tell her to leave. I've told her multiple of times, that I'm with you, but she won't quit." I explained. "Maybe she knows something that we don't.  But I don't even want to worry about her, and neither should you."