Desolation

twenty eight

We have Lucky Blue Smith as Caspian for you lovelies! I really like his eyes.

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We sat facing each other on his couch with his hand still in mine. It was a bit scary, I had never even thought about opening up to someone so quick but Stephen changed that. I had gotten comfortable with him very easily and I also didn't mind being around him all that much.

"How old were you? When it happened?" he didn't move his gaze away from me, looking directly into my eyes.

"I was 13," I replied. I couldn't stop thinking about what he was gonna ask next because I was kinda nervous. No one knew all this information about me other than Kathy's family and Blake.

"That's rough," he stated while I just nodded my head and laughed. It was alright.

"What happened?" he further asked. I knew he had tons of questions for me.

"She was shot, right in the heart. The police never found the man who did it," I said as calmly as I could. It had been a long time since I had talked about all of this and it felt kinda weird to be honest.

"I'm sorry," he said while looking down at our hands. "How old are you right now?" he looked back up at me.

"23, I'm gonna be 24 in October," I leaned my head against the back of the couch, still looking at him. I had no idea why he asked that out of nowhere.

"You've been carrying all this weight on your chest for all these years, that's absolutely crazy and it's unfortunate. I mean it just goes to show how strong you really are even though you had to go through your mothers death at such a young age. No one deserves that, not even the worst person on this planet and especially not you," he said in a soft voice while rubbing his thumb on my knuckles.

I squeezed his hand and smiled at him, "Thank you."

"What about your father?" he asked after a few minutes and I tensed.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in, I was met with his soft green ones when I opened mine, "My parents got divorced when I was around 3 years old. I lived with my Mum back in Louisiana," I played with his fingers in my hand because somehow I just couldn't look him in the eye.

"How did you manage everything then? Like when it happened?" I knew he didn't want to ask me too many questions but couldn't help himself at the same time.

I stayed quiet for a couple of minutes, not saying a word while still playing with his fingers. He reached for my chin with his other hand and gently lifted it up so that I could meet his forest green eyes.

"Hey, it's okay if you can't tell me. I understand," he softly smiled.

"No it's alright. It's not as bad as it seems," I chuckled lightly. "Kathy's family used to live back in Louisiana too and we became friends in kindergarten. I was close with her family since then. I came back from school one day and went up to my mothers room because that's where she usually would be. I kept calling her name but she didn't answer and then as soon as I got into her room, I saw her lying there on the floor with a bullet in her heart. I was terrified and I didn't know what to do so I ended up calling Kathy. I was crying on the phone and she handed it to her father because I think she got worried too," I took a deep breath in and closed my eyes again. I didn't like all the memories that were flooding back into my head.

I felt Stephen move closer to me and I immediately opened my eyes. Our faces were only a few inches apart and he brushed some hair off my face, "It's okay," he whispered.

I nodded my head and continued, "Kenneth talked to me on the phone and I told him everything that happened. He rushed to our place instantly and then took care of everything. The police came around and did the investigation but they couldn't find the man. I didn't have anyone else other than my Mum so Kenneth legally took me in. I got more closer with Kathy and her family because of how things went," I paused for a couple of seconds. I didn't know it was gonna be this hard for me to talk about. I thought that I had gotten over it and I was over it but maybe not all the way.