Unfeeling

One | Envy Till Death

Amberley
Envy is an odd thing. Most of the females who live in Adana, my kingdom, envy me, hate me for my position and... and for my appearance.

I am the most beautiful person alive, or that's what the rumors say. To be beautiful in the eyes of Adana's court is a good thing but I have surpassed those limits to an almost supernatural way. Resulting in public disgust at the sight of me.

Even some males turn slightly green at the sight of me, at the sight of a skinny, outspoken 18 year old girl who has ultimately taken a male role, the heir of Adana's throne. I am the future to the last kingdom standing after the Iniquitous took over the world.

Yet, I still wonder if they would envy me now, curled up in a ball on the cold floor of my living quarters, sobbing. The feel of a steel-toed boot in my side, breaking my ribs.

Would they envy this? The leather belt of my back, adding to the hundreds of still-healing wounds already there. Would they envy this?

I also wonder how they would feel if they had knowledge of their own beloved king doing these unspeakable things, beating his own daughter for years. Would they bow? Would they stand up for the girl they envy so much?

I have found that it is much easier to cover up my bruises than to risk asking for their help. Besides, who would help a weak girl like me? I am beautiful but I'm nothing but a whisper into the void. I will be forgotten and my screams will fade. I will become nothing.

"My lady? His Highness has sent us to service your- uh, your- ," a timid voice calls from behind my oak door.

Standing shakily, I wipe desperately at my tear stained cheeks. "Come in."

My body aches as I stand. Two hours. My father had made me suffer for nearly two hours, making his intentions known with every blow. To prove his power to himself, to show that he had control over every breath I take.

My chamber door opens, sending a pleasant draft of wind past me. I close my eyes and take in a shaky breath at the sight of Ginnifer and Leah, my two personal workers who usually take care of my appearance after one of my father's episode.

I hear a startled gasp come from Leah, no doubt from my face I can already feel bruising. I would probably gasp too, if I had the inner strength to look in the mirror. I almost look into the vanity mirror as Leah sits me down but my father was unusually rough today and I think against it, looking down at my lap instead.

When Leah places her hands on my shoulders I remember my father's hands on me and jerk roughly away from her with a sob. Leah yanks her small hands away with a blush and decides to step back into the corner of the room.

My hands come to land in front of my face, hiding the bruises and the pain they prove. I suddenly can't breathe. How much more of this can a person take? Would I go insane? Am I already insane? Should I give in to the constant whispers that caress my sanity with promises of relief?

Ginnifer steps into view and crouches down in front of me, taking my slender hands in her large, rough ones. My eyes burn with tears and I feel the wounds on my back burn the same. Ginnifer is a aging woman but she had a certain charm to her that no one can replicate.

"Are you forgetting who you are, my dear Amberley?" I answer with another sob. I've forgotten who I was years ago... I wouldn't tell Ginnifer that though.