A few hours later I was waiting for the boys at the park's soccer pitch. I was just fiddling around with the ball when I felt someone tap me on the shoulder.
"Daniel?" I say, he smiles at me
"What do you want?" I say looking down
"I just came to say sorry, you know about last night. And I'm sorry for everything I've done to you, I had no right to mess with your feelings like that. W-will you take me back?" I frown at what he's asking me
"Daniel I'm sorry but no, for all I know you could go back to doing your old tricks and mess with other girls while you're with me"
"But I've changed" he says grabbing my hands
"Yeah you said that the last 6 times and you never actually changed" I say pulling my hands away from him
"Chelsea... I want you to know that I loved you and that-" I cut him off
"No you didn't, because you don't hurt the people that you love. And if you loved me, why'd you leave me? Why did you go and do shit with other girls? You don't do that to the people you love Daniel! That's not how love works" I start getting emotional
"I- I know but Chelsea I never meant to hurt you, it was a accident I didn't mean to-" I cut him off again
"The first time might of been a accident, but the third, fourth, fifth and however many more, they were all choices. You put me through hell when I was with you, you had me wrapped around your finger. I cried every night because I blamed myself, but I would never give up on you when that's what I should of done from the very start" he just stands there and looks at me
"But I'm in love with the thought of you and I miss you, you are all I want" he finally replies
"No, you're just too scared to be alone, you always need someone to show you affection, I get it okay. And I miss you too but you're not the one I want anymore" I turn around and walk away.
While I walk away I pass Chris, Jakob and Ethan, they all looked at me concerned.
"Chelsea, are you okay?" Jakob asks
"Yep, fine" I say as I keep walking, someone grabs my hand and I turn around
"Chelsea, what happened?" Chris asks
"Look Chris I just want to be left alone okay?" I say as tears that I've been holding back escape my eyes. I turn back around and keep walking.
When I get home I leave Ethan a note and leave the house again
Hey Etho,
I'm at the thinking tree, I don't know how long I'll be gone.
Yep, short and sweet.
*Jakob's POV*
I'm concerned about Chelsea so I go back to her house and check up on her. When I reach the house I realise the door is already open so I let myself in, I call her name a few times before seeing that she has left a note for Ethan.
She's told me about the thinking tree, it's where she goes to escape from reality and have time to herself to think about life, I remember she told me that it was over the river and through a secret passage way of flowers just in case I ever needed to go there.
I head to the thinking tree. When I find her sitting on the third highest branch I climb up and sit with her, she doesn't take her eyes off the sunset when she realises that I'm there.
"I missed him more than I thought I would..." she says
"Even though he put me through living hell, I just can't get over him. And I hate it, I hate him. I would say sorry to him, even though I did nothing wrong. I would say sorry for not being perfect and pretty enough for him. The truth is, is that I lost myself in my selfish ways and my mistakes." I look at her not knowing what to say.
"Did you know when you're drowning you don't actually inhale until right before you black out, it's called voluntary apnea. It's like no matter how much you're freaking out the instinct to not let any water in is so strong that you won't open your mouth until you feel like you're head is exploding. But now-a-days, you don't need water to feel like you're drowning, all you need to do is fall in love with the wrong person" I watch her as her tears start to fall softly onto her cheeks, I wipe away her tears as I realise how broken she actually is and how much she hides it.
"It's fine though, I'm fine" she says looking at me smiling, I stare into her eyes and say "no you're not, and it's okay not to be okay" and pull her close to my chest.
"If I could, I'd just forget about him, and if I could I'd just delete him from my memory. But no matter how hard I struggle, I'm fine, because if I smile I'm okay, right?"
"We are all addicted to things that we shouldn't be, some people are addicted to drugs, some are addicted to ciggarettes. Me... I'm addicted to you, and I didn't want to fall in love, but at one point you smiled and I totally blew it" I say holding her tightly in my arms.
*Chelsea's POV*
We sit at the tree for hours just talking about everything. He listens to me and I listen to him.
"When can I meet your dad? I've meet your mum and she is the cutest" I ask, he looks down
"My dad isn't really in my life anymore. He left when I was two to go live with another woman"
"Jakob, I'm so sorry if I had of known I wouldn't of asked"
"It's fine. I don't need him, I got through my first day without him, I learnt how to fight without him, I learnt how to be a man without him, I've had 14 great birthdays without him... I don't need him, he's dead to me. I remember how he used to treat my mum, I made a promise to myself that I'll never be like him, that I will treat a woman right, that I will cherish her and not fuck up everything."
"Wow, you're ex's must be crazy for letting you go" I say
"But they have so many qualities that they need to work on, unlike you, you listen to me, you help me, you make me happy, I feel like I can be myself with you. The others all wanted me to be someone that I'm not" he replies
"Where are we going with this? Like what do you want out of this? You know, you and me?" mentally stabbing myself fo asking the most dumbest and stupidest question on the planet
"What do I want out of this? Easy... I want you" he replies
"So Chelsea... with you make me the happiest boy on the planet and be mine?" He asks with a smile
"I wouldn't want anything more" I smile back, he leans and plants a soft kiss on my lips that lasted about 15 seconds, he smiles into the kiss and I can't help smiling back.
YOU ARE READING
Loving Jakob Delgado // fan fiction
Fanfiction"Did you know when you're drowning you don't actually inhale until right before you black out, it's called voluntary apnea. It's like no matter how much you're freaking out the instinct to not let any water in is so strong that you won't open your m...
