Hating a star

Chapter 20: Memories to cry over

Through break, second lesson, and to third lesson, I was on complete auto pilot. If real, famous people were noticing us, shouldn't I be happy? Shouldn't I be ecstatic that our hard work is finally putting an impact on our lives. But for some reason, I didn't have a good feeling about it at all.

Half way through even opening my sandwich, something I had bought on the way to school this morning, I felt a hand lay upon my shoulder. I turned with blank eyes, noticing the freezing of my friends, as if Satan himself was standing behind me. "Luce, we need to talk." In fact, it was Satan, grabbing my hand and whisking me away from my friends, making my drop my lunch on the way.

Watching his fluffy, pink hair as we ran through the hallways, even more memories of the past we shared together flooded in. If this keeps happening, my heart won't be able to take it. And I still have to talk to Gray. I thought as he led me to the rear of the school.

When we stopped, I noticed my heavy breathing, making me sit on the ground against a wall. That's when I recognised the area. We were in the place I cried for ages on his first day here. When he found me at my weakest. "Is your attitude to do with this?" Natsu pulled the newspaper from yesterday out of his pocket, still rolled up from when I had dropped in in the snow. I instantly jumped up and snatched it from him, clutching it to my chest. Why I was so insistent on him not finding out my family problems, I didn't know. It's not like he cared anyway. He doesn't give a damn about me. "What's it to you?" I spat, lowering my gaze to the paper in my grasp. "What's wrong?" He asked again, being more commanding than before. This scared me for some reason, inching back as he stepped closer. I looked at my feet as we almost danced backwards, Natsu talking lead. He asked again and again, and every time I just shook my head as my emotions threatened to escape. The walls I had built up around myself. Even my mother, even the girl's didn't know the entire truth behind my many masks. If everyone grouped together and added up everything they knew, it wouldn't be nearly as much as the old Natsu Dragneel had on me.

That exact boy slammed his palm against the wall beside my head, which I had not seen my back pushing so hard against, as if it were trying to break it down, making a clear escape for me. "Luce, what happened?" Natsu asked, he almost sounded hurt. I refused to talk, afraid of his growing manly aura. One Elfman would be proud of. This is when he lowered his arm, using the other to pull my head into his chest, my back with it. "Don't worry Luce. I'll make sure everything's alright, even if I can't stand beside you." He muttered, stroking my hair to calm the both of us.

That line. The line he would always use. When I had a bad dream at our sleepovers. When I would fall and cut my knee. When I landed in the lake, that was the line that repeated in my head until I woke up three months later. It was the line that made me fight for my life. The only thing that made me try so hard. The promises we had made. The broken heart that I had protected by a steal one. The shards no one has tried to piece together since. Not even Sting could have that kind of impact in my. Why did it have to hurt so much?

I cried, clutching to his shirt as stroked my hair soothing me. He repeated that damn line. Why did it have to get to me?

Lunch passes by in a blur, the memory filled of me crying softly into his chest. He returned me to the classroom, everyone probably thinking he made me cry again. I just sat in our corner of the classroom and cried even more, not caring who saw. I wasn't done yet. I needed someone to care for me the way Natsu did. To know the things Natsu does. And to promise the things Natsu and I do.

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Why?

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Why can't he remember already?