Beautiful insanity (Dylan O'Brien) | ✓

17 | One chance

[This chapter is going to contain a bit of sexual content.]

"Tell me what you're thinking." I breathed out as we sat underneath the lit roof of the terrace. It was insanely beautiful outside and even though the receptionist hated it, they really had made an effort. The heat was on so we wouldn't freeze and we were both wrapped in a blanket. The terrace was covered in snow and a handful of lights lit up the space. I stared at Dylan, who looked more beautiful than ever in the dim light. He looked up from his lap and his eyes connected with mine. I felt a shiver go down my spine and something going crazy inside my tummy. Was I growing feelings for this boy? 

"You really don't want to know what I'm thinking." He said, chuckling. 

"I really do." As soon as I said those words I knew I was going to regret them. Because that nasty smirk appeared on his face again. He ran his tongue over his lips and then pulled his bottom lip between his teeth. 

"I'm thinking about all the possible ways I'm going to fuck you. I honestly don't care about this date. I just want to get home, bent you over my kitchen table and take you as hard as I can." If I had been drinking water I surely would've spit it out. I felt insulted. It was like he'd already taken advantage of me when he hadn't even touched me. I didn't want to show him what his words did to me, though. He didn't need to know that I was shocked by it because that's what he wanted. He wanted me to feel uncomfortable. 

"Well, I really want this date." I replied. "So you're gonna have to behave yourself." 

"Do you want me Jess?" He then suddenly asked. "Have you thought about me?" He leaned over the table, coming so close to me that I could feel his hot breath against my ice cold skin. "I can make your dreams come true baby." 

"Don't call me that." I snapped. "And sit the fuck down." 

"I love when you talk dirty to me." He moaned. 

"Stop it Dylan. Can you please control your filthy thoughts for just one freaking day." He laughed at me, leaning back into his seat. "I just want a normal date with you." I murmured. 

"Know what you're signing up for darling. I can give you what you want but nonetheless, I'm a dirty minded, horny pervert. I hope that's not a problem for you." 

Dylan tried to behave for the most of the night. Well his kind of behaving. He couldn't help but make sexual remarks about me. Telling me how much he wanted to take off my dress or that he wanted to know what my breasts would feel like in his hands. I ignored most of it, always changing the subject. It's not that I'd never thought about making love to him, although I don't think you could call it that with Dylan. He only talked about fucking and I was sure he wouldn't have mercy on me if we did... have sex. But yet I couldn't help but wonder what his body would look like. How he would hold me or what the things would be he'd say to me. I always pictured it as something romantic, kind and gentle. I pictured him softly kissing me and gently placing me on the bed. But that was nothing more than a fantasy, too damn good to be true. Because somewhere I knew he wouldn't treat me with respect. He would be ruthless. 

"Jess?" Dylan's voice pulled me out of my stream of inappropriate thoughts. I looked up at him. I hadn't heard a word of what he had been saying. 

"What?" 

"Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked. 

"Do what?" 

"Us. Do you want to keep this going?"

"I don't understand?" I stuttered. 

"I'm giving you the chance to leave Jess. But if you choose to go keep seeing me you can't let me down. I can't handle another broken heart." Those words set so many thoughts in motion. Another. He was most likely referring to Holland, as she was the love of his life. But what did he mean by a broken heart? Did he consider me as the one who could break his heart again? Did that mean that he was in love with me? Could it be? I was making myself crazy with these thoughts. And then there was this choice I had to make right now. Stay or leave. I was not ready to go, not yet. I needed to figure him out first. I needed to know who he was so that I could fix him. 

"I won't go." It barely came out as a whisper. Out of nowhere he stood up and walked over to me. He grabbed my hands and kneeled down. His eyes connected with mine and I noticed how they shifted into a slightly darker colour. 

"You have to listen to me Jess." He breathed out. "I'm not a good person. I will hurt you and not because I have no other choice but because I want to. I want to see you in pain and I'm gonna give that to you in the most awful way you can imagine. I will love you but my touch will poison your skin, my kiss will burn your lips. Your tears will be like nourishment for my fucked up soul. But nonetheless I want you to be mine. And it's screwed up and obsessive but I know, in a way, you want the same thing. Because who in the world would hang out with a psychopath like me? The only person that would do that would have to be, in a way, just as fucked up as I am." And when he spoke those last couple of words I could not think of anything else to do than to kiss him. Because I realised that in that moment, no matter how fucked up it was, my heart was only beating for him. 

[They did it!]