Beautiful insanity (Dylan O'Brien) | ✓

25 | Black and blue

The morning-after was filled with apologies. When Dylan laid one eye on me he lost it. The damage was not that bad to be honest. I had a couple of bruises between my legs and one on my right arm and my wrists felt a bit sore but that was all. Alright, it was not a normal thing to get bruises from making love but I knew that it wouldn't be peaceful and loving when I started it. I knew he had this habit of getting violent but honestly he had been a perfect gentleman most of the time. Now and then, in the heat of the moment, he'd get a bit more physical but I told him when it started hurting and he controlled himself then. Making love to Dylan had been the most overwhelming thing I'd felt in years. There was so much passion, so much energy that I could still feel it hours after it had happened. I was not eager to leave his apartment but Dylan was keeping his promise and he needed to be with Alex in the late morning. So I headed back to my own apartment, took a hot shower and exchanged the fancy beige dress for a pair of joggers and a comfy sweater. My thoughts kept running back to the night before and that morning. How his body had felt against mine, his soft lips on my skin and then the horror of what he had done. The pain in his eyes was real. He had looked at me with disgust, not for me but for what he had done. He couldn't stop apologising. He kept saying that 'we shouldn't have done that'. He had no idea how magical it had been for me. If it was even possible, I had fallen in love with him deeper than I already was. 
I decided that maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to let him know that everything was fine. So I fished my phone from my pocket and started typing. 

Jess: Hey Dyl.. Just wanted to let you know that I had the best time last night and then I don't just mean the final part. It was perfect. You were perfect. I loved it. 

I love you, I wanted to add but I didn't. I had said it once and he didn't say it back, or at least not in those words. I scanned over my text and then hit the send button. I stared at my phone for five minutes and when he didn't answer it, I put the thing away. 
I had been flicking through the channels for almost an hour when suddenly someone knocked on my door. It startled me. I stared at the wooden door, suspiciously. Who could that be? Only one way to find out. I got up from my comfy spot on the couch and headed for the door. As I opened it the person on the other side slowly became visible. 

"Mike? How did you get up here?" I asked. I found it strange that he hadn't rung my bell from downstairs like he normally would. 

"Someone from your building just walked in so I figured I'd just come up." 

"Oh." I replied. 

"So can I come in or...?" Mike trailed off.

"Oh yeah of course! Sure! Sorry!" I started rambling. I opened the door wider and allowed him to come inside. He walked in, taking off his coat and throwing it over one of the chairs as he did so. "Hey uhm Mike?" I questioned. He turned around to look at me. "What are you doing here?" 

"Well I came by to see if you were critically ill or maybe even dead." I looked at him, not really understanding what that was supposed to mean. "I can't find any other excuse as to why you didn't show up for work yesterday and answered none of my calls." As he said those words realisation hit me. Oh God. I forgot work. I had been so busy with Dylan that it had completely slipped my mind. But calls? What calls? I grabbed my phone from the table. No notifications. I went to the phone section and to the missing calls part and indeed there they were. Six missed calls. I must have cleared the notifications when I turned my phone off. 

"Oh God Mike!" I exclaimed. "I totally forgot and I had my phone in my purse so I didn't hear it..." I breathed out. "I'm so sorry." 

"Well you had me worried there for a second sis. I thought something might have happened. I even called Alex." My head jerked up. 

"You called Alex?" I asked. "What did he say?" 

"He said you had a date." Mike replied. Oh that bastard and that fucking big mouth of his. I wanted to scream, curse even. I had been angry with Alex but he knew Dylan was a sensitive subject and that this was absolutely not something he should be discussing with other people. It made me even more angry. "I hope that date was pretty damn special because since you left me all alone with Cassy on one of the busiest days of the year, you're working on New Year's eve." It was pretty damn special, I wanted to growl but I realised it was not the time to be a smart-ass so I just kept my mouth shut. "Who is this guy anyway? I didn't know you were seeing someone." When that question popped up it was like my defence mechanism automatically turned on. 

"It's none of your business." I growled. 

"Well I am your big brother so it kind of is. I need to know who to kill when you get hurt." He was joking but I felt offended. Annoyed I threw my hands in the air. Again with the hurting. 

"What is it with you guys that you think I'm gonna get hurt?!" I screamed. "I'm a grown-ass woman! I can fight my own fucking battles!"

"I'm just trying to protect you from--" He started but I cut him off. I was furious. 

"From what? Guys like you? Because hell I can't think of any other reason as to why you all just assume that the guy I'm dating is a violent bastard other than that you would be the exact same thing!" I screamed. Alright I might have gone too far with that one but I was just so fucking angry. And now I had made him angry too. 

"Now listen up!" He shouted. He reached out and grabbed my arm, not that hard, but right on the spot where it was bruised and I flinched. Mike noticed. "What..." He trailed off. I tried to pull back but he wouldn't let me. Instead he pulled me towards him and grabbed the sleeve of my sweater in his hands pulling it up so he could see what had hurt me. When his eyes landed on the bruise, he gasped. "Jess, how did you get this?" He half growled, half whispered. 

"I fell." I murmured, jerking my arm out of his grip and pulling my sleeve back down.

"On your lower arm? Now that's a lousy excuse." 

"I think you should leave." I took his coat from the chair and handed it to him. 

"Jess, please talk to me. I need to know you are okay. You don't have to stay with him if he hurts you. He can't make you." His voice was soothing and gentle but somehow it made me even more annoyed. I rolled my eyes at him. 

"For the last time: He is not hurting me. If he was I would've kicked his ass myself. Now please, leave." I almost begged and I started pushing him out the door. "I will see you on New Year's eve." I said and then slammed the door shut. Our little fight had made me exhausted and with a deep sigh I fell down on the couch. Now there's a conversation I hoped I'd never have with Mike. I could've told him the truth. I could've told him that Dylan was different and that he needed someone to show him the right path and that maybe I'd get some bruises along the way. But Mike wouldn't understand. Just like Alex didn't understand and even Tyler, although he was trying. Heck sometimes even I didn't understand. 
The vibrating sound of my iPhone on the coffee table made me look up. I grabbed the thing, unlocked it and looked at the text I had received. It was from Dylan. 

Dylan: I'm far from perfect but I'm trying to be perfect for you. 

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