Beautiful insanity (Dylan O'Brien) | ✓

15 | The talk

It was a bit after twelve when I walked into the clinic. I made my way through the halls and up the stairs, constantly remembering myself that Alex had a new office. It wouldn't be the first time I walked into the wrong office. I gently knocked on the door and waited for Alex to allow me in. I did not want to walk into one of his sessions again. I heard his rough voice on the other side of the door and pulled the handle down. I smiled widely at the handsome lad sitting in the leather chair.  

"I brought sandwiches!" I shouted, sticking two in tinfoil wrapped buns in the air. He laughed at me and shook his head at my enthusiasm. 

"That better not be a cheese sandwich you've got there." 

"It is. But it's for me." I stuck out my tongue and sat down in one of the cozy chairs. Alex joined me by bringing his office chair to my side of the desk. "This one is for you." I said, giving him one of the sandwiches. "A lot of greenies." He made a disgusted face and I laughed with that. Alex had told me, no obliged me, to watch over his eating habits. He had been eating a lot of junk food lately and God forbid he gained a couple of pounds. So now he was eating healthy as fuck and went to the gym everyday. 

"You're the worst." He growled and unwrapped his sandwich, biting into the healthy meal. I just giggled with that. 

"Honestly Alex, you don't need to lose weight. You're perfect just the way you are." I told him.

"And I'm even more perfect when I weight not more than 200 pounds." I just shook my head with that. There was no arguing with his stubbornness. "So..." He eventually said. I looked up from my sandwich, swallowing the last bite. "You wanted to talk to me about something." I nodded my head. I was glad he brought it up, so I didn't have to. "You know I can't speak about my clients Jess."

"Yeah I know, you've told me that about a zillion times." 

"Then why do you keep asking?" I took a deep breath. I was about to tell him everything. And with that I literally meant everything. I could not keep this from him any longer, not if he was the only person that could tell me if I was bringing myself in danger. 

"I'm dating him." I said and it felt like a huge weight falling off my shoulder. "Well, we're going on our second date tonight." Alex stared at me, eyes wide and jaw to the ground. I knew what was about to happen. He was going to freak out. He always had the same look on his face when he was about to lose his shit. So I patiently waited for it to happen. 

"No." He said, coming up from his seat. "No. No! I forbid you!" 

"You can't stop me Alex. You really can't." 

"Jess, you have no clue what you are getting yourself into! I don't want you seeing this guy." 

"Well too bad you have no authority over me then." I snapped and then I sighed. "Will you please just sit down and hear me out?" He did and I just told him every freaking thing there was to know. I told him about that night at the busstop. I told him about the rumours and about him stalking me. I told him about Holland and about Tyler. I told him about the pills and that he in a very strange way, seemed to care about me. I gave him a detailed description of everything there was to know and he just sat there, staring at me like I'd gone mad. "And now..." I said, finishing my story. "... would I like to know if I'm bringing myself in danger. Can he be trusted or is he just playing games with me. I need you to be honest Alex. Please." He sighed, obviously not happy with the situation but I knew he'd help me out. Because he's a great guy. 

"Okay look. Dylan is one of my most complicated cases. I can't figure him out. He says he wants help but he never talks. And if he does talk, the words don't make sense. He misses most of his appointments and doesn't show any interest in the sessions but every time I tell him he doesn't need to be here if he doesn't want to, he begs me to help him." 

"So..." I trailed off. "What you are saying is that you don't know?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. He nodded. 

"I don't know if he's dangerous but I also don't know if he's not. But I can tell you this Jess: He's not sane. No person with his mind in the right place would act like he does... And I'll never forget what he told me the first session. He's on a search for chaos. He want to create pain." 

"Hmmm..." I let out, thinking about what he'd said. 

"You heard the rumours right? He has been violent with you. That must mean something Jess." Okay so he was making a pretty good point, I knew that, but somehow that was not gonna stop me. Even if he had told me that Dylan was an absolute fucking freak that would probably kill me, I think I still would've been drawn to him. And God knows why that was. 

"Thanks for the talk Alex." I said while getting up. Alex followed my steps, shooting up from his seat and then grabbing my wrist. 

"If anything, and then I mean anything, happens you call me, okay? I don't want him hurting you." He said, worry clear in his voice. I nodded my head.

"Okay Alex." 

"You promise?"

"I promise." I put my coat back on and grabbed my purse from the ground. I kissed his cheek and we said our goodbyes. But before I walked out the door, I turned around. 

"Oh and Alex?" 

"Yeah?" 

"We didn't have this conversation, okay? Dylan can never know what I told you." I said the words and then I realised that in a way, I was terrified. 

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