Beautiful insanity (Dylan O'Brien) | ✓

18 | What the heart wants

His taste still lingered on my lips. The warmth of his flesh against mine was a thought I could not get rid off and more even, did not want to get rid off. As we kissed, and our two bodies finally connected, I felt something exploding inside of me. The burning sensation, the longing for his presence and I knew in that moment I did not ever want to be apart from him. As he gave me life, a reason for existing, a quest. As he showed me who I was, I would help him to find who he was. I did the most dangerous thing when I kissed him but it was worth it. And if he was going to break my heart I would definitely let him.

The ringing of my phone ended the constant stream of thoughts about Dylan and about the first kiss we shared. I was being pulled away from the nice slumber I had fallen into after our date had ended. With tired eyes I searched for my phone that laid on the wooden nightstand next to me. I pressed it against my ear and answered with a sleepy voice. 

"Jess speaking." 

"Oh Jess, I'm sorry. Did I wake you?" 

"Yeah. Who is this?" I moaned, turning on my side. 

"It's Tyler." When his name reached my ear I shot up, sitting straight on the bed. 

"Oh hey Tyler.  I'm sorry, I didn't recognize your voice." 

"Sorry for waking you." His voice sounded amused. "So good news. They finally let me out of the hospital." 

"Oh that's great! How are you feeling?" 

"Good, good. So what are you up to today?" He asked. I got up from my bed, putting on my warm socks whilst holding the phone between my shoulder and my head. 

"I'm working in the afternoon. You can always come by the bar if you want." I told him, whilst making my way to the bathroom. I was awake anyway, might as well get myself ready. 

"Sounds great." 

"Good see you there." 

"See you there." 

"Bye Tyler."

"Bye."  I hung up the phone, placing the thing right next to the sink. I took a glance at myself in the mirror. The skin of my lips was raw and red, caused by Dylan's overwhelming passion. I couldn't get rid off the image of the two of us. How I grabbed his face and took control or how he pulled me onto his lap. If we hadn't been at the restaurant the kiss might have ended in something entirely different. And that scared me. Because if he couldn't control himself whilst kissing me, if he was this hungry for my lips, what would it be like making love to him? Something that was far more passionate, physical and intimate than just a little kiss. I sighed, as I ran my fingers over my lips. I just hoped he was able to control himself and that I was able to stand my ground. Because when it came to Dylan, I was weak. Even when I was in control I was completely at his mercy. 

It was a little after two when the door of the bar opened and Tyler walked in. You could still see the bruises on his face, the places where his skin had been ripped apart. This traces of Dylan were still there, but they were healing. He smiled at me when walking in, his eyes being overwhelmingly charming. Every sane girl would think he was beautiful, and he was. But I didn't look at him that way because when I saw him all I could think of was what Dylan had done to him and how he should be saved.  

"Hey Jess." Tyler said, taking place on the barstool. 

"What can I get you?" 

"A beer would be nice but sadly, I'm still on pills and I can't drink any alcohol." 

"Sucks to be you." I joked, leaving him with a cheeky wink. "I can make you a non-alcoholic cocktail if you like." Tyler laughed with that. 

"That's lame. You go hard or you don't go at all. So I'm just gonna have a water for now. Sparkling please." I shook my head laughing and grabbed a glass bottle of sparkling water from the fridge, pouring it into a glass. "So..." Tyler trailed off as I handed him the glass. "Heard anything from Dylan yet?" 

"You could say that..." I looked down at the counter but I couldn't help but smile. 

"What?" 

"He came by my house when I left the hospital two days ago. He asked me out again so..." 

"You went on a date with him?" He raised an eyebrow. "Even when you knew what he had done?" I could hear in his voice that he did not approve of my decision. 

"He was really sorry." I tried but of course it was a weak attempt to defend Dylan. 

"Look Jess I'm not gonna tell you what to do. I'm just warning you, he's dangerous." 

"He's your friend." I defended. I could not believe Tyler was talking about Dylan like he was a stranger. They'd been best friends for so long and now, he was nothing to him. 

"Was. He was my friend. But when he turned his back on me, when he let violence speak rather than words he lost me forever. I cannot forgive him for what he has done. I envy you for still seeing the good in him because I can't.  But Jess, please be careful around him. You don't know what he might do." 

"I trust him..." I whispered. Tyler got up from his seat and handed me an five dollar bill, paying for his drink.

"Well, then I don't know if you're insane or just plain stupid." And he walked away from me, leaving me without saying goodbye. But it kept me thinking. Was he right about Dylan? Probably. Was he right about me? Had I lost my mind? I rushed a hand through my hair, staring at the almost empty space in front of me. I felt a hand on my shoulder and startled I turned around. Mike looked at me with sympathy filled eyes. 

"Are you feeling alright sis?" He asked, sounding concerned. 

"I don't know." I breathed out. 

"Maybe you came back to work too soon." I shook my head. 

"No work is good for me. It keeps my mind off of things." Mike nodded his head and stepped away from me. I didn't know what was going on with me. I was so confused. Everything about Dylan screamed to stay away from him. My friends said it, even he had given me the chance to leave and even when he did, I did not want to go. I felt so drawn to him, it was a sickness almost. But for once in my goddamn life I had to let my heart decide rather than my brain and even though it was dangerous, my heart chose him. 

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