How Did You Die?

Interview Four

Bluestar pads into an empty clearing, a bowtie dangling from around her chin.

Bluestar: Hello, warriors who should be on patrol, apprentices who are supposed to be training, kits who should probably change the channel, and kittypets! Welcome back to the fourth Episode of "How Did You Die?" Today, we have no suitors that have shown up to be interviewed, so we're going to go for a quick walk and see if anyone would like to step into the studio and have a glass of scotch with me.

A black cat with a pencil tucked behind his ear and a clipboard pokes his head out from the side of the stage and whispers something to Bluestar. After attempting to shove something behind her, the leader replies softly, her words masked by the oddly convenient sound of a twoleg monster whipping by.

Bluestar: Ehm... sorry about that. *turns back toward the camera with a bright smile.* SO apparently I'm not allowed to talk about scotch because I'm a public figure, but whatever.

Bluestar, looking a bit saddened by this news, starts walking toward the exit, the camera's view switching to show her pushing through the doors.

Bluestar: *shivers slightly and mutters to herself.* Why must StarClan be so cold today. 

She pads through the streets, glancing around at cats, until she sees a familiar ginger tom. Bluestar, still hiding something behind her back, pads up to him.

Firestar: Hi Bluestar... why is Whitestripe following you around with a camera? *waves at the warrior.*

The camera shakes slightly as Whitestripe presumably waves back. 

Bluestar: Hello there, random stranger I just met on the street! Would you like to be involved in an interview? *leans toward him and whispers.* I'll give you a free bottle of scotch.

Firestar: That's a no on the scot—

Bluestar: So you'll do it? Great! 

After an ad break, Bluestar and a slightly confused Firestar (who is holding a scotch bottle) are sitting back on the stage.

Firestar: Why am I being interviewed again?

Bluestar: So, hello there Firestar! *turns toward the camera.* Here's Firestar, a pretty trivial leader of ThunderClan that's quite unknown in the Warriors world! He was my deputy, and he's going to answer a few questions for us today.

Firestar: Can I go home now?

Bluestar: *grinning through her teeth.* No! Let's go to the first question... Firestar, how did you die?

Firestar: *pauses valiantly.* Um, didn't Tigerstar kill me or something? *stares off into the distance for a moment.* Or was it that falling branch?

Bluestar: *nods.* Continue explaining...

Firestar: Well, I was fighting Tigerstar... and then I died. And there was lightning. *nods.* Yeah, that happened.

Bluestar: Well, you're surpsingly right. You weren't killed by the falling, burning tree like most Warrior fans believe... you were killed by your wounds in battle.

Firestar: Can I go home now? Sandstorm's making me make dinner. 

Bluestar: If you're late, we might have to see you for a second episode of "How Did You Die?"

Firestar: So can I go?

Bluestar nods, and the screen somewhat awkwardly fades to black.

Rio... Rio wanted to turn this into a T.V. show. So Rio turned this into a T.V. show.
I hope you enjoyed.
Have a fabulous, fun, fantabulous, forte, Firestar-free day :)

⌁ Rio