Matsuma's Diary

Friends

Don't be fooled. The first chapter is all about how to make friends but in this chapter, I talk about my own personal friends.

Someone in particular kept on bugging me to update and since I have no other topics to discuss, I chose this one instead.

Friends come and go. And I'm an introverted person so I prefer not to interact with people often. When I do however, I tend to slip away from their grasp as fast as a bubble pops.

I do not regret having friends...as much as I do not regret having enemies.

Friends have a lot of benefits for one person in the same way you are to them... And one friend of mine...was my enemy.

Carlos. I'm sure you know this name right now. I already made two entries about him. One is about the reason for my low self-esteem and one is about the way I wanted to encourage him yet came out wrong.

Carlos is a major person in my life even though he's my enemy for so long. At first, he became my crush (which I deeply and genuinely regret), and then we hate each other and blah blah blah. But in those blah blah blah, there are some moments when we act good to each other.

It was not because he was my crush that he became a major person in my life. It was not because he then became my enemy afterwards nor did he become my friend today. It was because of all those things compiled into one.

He acts as that typical boy in a romance story where he treats you like shit but secretly loves you. This is not that case.

Carlos is my one and only enemy who I did not want to kill, and with a good reason! He does annoy me at times, he teases me a lot and mock me for everything I do, but mysteriously, I have no bloodlust that wants to kill him. He's not like any other enemy. He's kind of "special".

He's the type of person that I hate in general but will fight for. He's the one and only enemy that I genuinely care for.

There were just some people that made us act like this. If nothing interfered, then he could've still been my friend.

And since my "wish" came true: which is to not be with him anymore (in the same school), we became closer. It was true that my self-esteem rose a bit but not to the point where I could brag.

He is a beautiful rose that I picked in a hot and sunny day with thorns pricking my fingers. He might have pricked me accidentally but the pain is only temporary. I can cut the thorns off but no one cuts the rose without any good reason...

Andrea. She's the one who supports me in everything I do and I do the same to her. She reads my stories, votes and comments while I do the same with her story. She's the one commenting in my diary every chapter and likes a particular Youtuber... (Eyy!!)

She's enthusiastic, radiant and cheerful. She is the person that I based Joan (a character from one of my stories, Demon Child) from. She is my best friend that has a lot of friends. She might act all childish and noisy but she is one of the few persons I turn to when I'm in trouble. She gives great advices and acts mature-- the complete opposite of her general personality.

She is a great friend.... I treasure our friendship from the bottom of my heart...

Plus, she, along with Carlos, is the person I talk to almost everyday even in different schools. Hehe :D

Jed. I don't mention Jed often so I'm going to mention him now. Jed is a troublemaker and the class clown. He often doesn't listen to the lessons and copies answers from me (which I attempted many times to avoid this. I wasn't desperate though. I give up very easily). Jed's brother is studying psychology, which intrigues me.

I play along with his jokes and antics. I listen to his stories and problems and think of a way to solve them. I sometimes join him too when he plans on tricking people. He do the same things to me too so we're even.

Despite all this, we don't chat quite often now. I still chat with Andrea and Carlos everyday.

He's the type of person that is fun to hang out with and can turn to dependently when you have a problem. Well, all the people that are listed here are like that.

I mentioned before that I have trust issues, haven't I? That's why there are only three people in my life with the same age as me that I tell all my problems to. All of them are fun to be with and at the same time can give great advices...

Some people I befriend are:
1. Not close.
2. Not reached within capability.
3. Only giving me advices because I turn to them when I need one.
4. Only with me to keep me entertained and happy (which I kind of regret because it looks like I'm just using them for my own entertainment). And;
5. Only turning to me to take advantage of me. For eg. Copying my answers, letting me do their homework, asking me about the lessons (which I really hate), etc.

Yes, friends do come in all shapes and sizes and some friends do not satisfy what you deserve. But in this crowd of friends, you can see who the real ones are and who's not. You can see who satisfy you with what you deserve while also satisfying them what they deserve.

Friends are important people. They build you to become a better person and make you realize who you really are. They break all of your masks to see your true self, which you happily show them once broken...

They are in a special place in your heart that even though given the circumstances you encounter, they still remain in you as you remain in them. If given the chance, they will fight for you but if not and they are being accused of betrayal, you jump in quick to defend them.

That's how friends work. If there are inconsistency with the friends you hang out with, then there's a possibility that those are not your real friends...