playboy | joshler ✓

- five -

i love how people are like 'damn tyler slow down' yall do realize tyler is literally a grown up fuckboy (¿fuckman?) that just wants sex like ???

+ +

Tyler didn't get a chance to respond, the waitress appearing and setting down their food. Josh thanked her, hesitant smile on his face.

The waitress smiled back, lingering for a little bit. Tyler noticed, and he scowled. Was Josh flirting?! Tyler cleared his throat, glaring at the waitress, who blushed and hurried away.

Josh watched her go for a second before looking at his food. He played around with the thick noodles for a little bit, tense silence stretching between the two.

"Tell me, Josh, what is it that you don't like about me?" Tyler asked, deciding to become more acquainted with him. "I mean, what's there not to like about me?"

Josh raised an eyebrow and set down his fork. "Well, let's see." Josh began to tick things off on his fingers. "You've got a big ego, you think you're the best, you don't know how to take the answer 'no', you brag every chance you get, you want all the attention on you -- "

"Okay, okay." Tyler interrupted. "But I'm still a very charming man."

Josh scoffed, taking a sip of his drink. "Sure."

"I am!" Tyler exclaimed. "People love me."

"I don't." Josh said bluntly. "I happen to find you very irritating."

"Why?"

"I just gave you a list." Josh answered. He glanced at his phone, turning it on to check the time.

"Planning to leave already?" Tyler said with an overly sad tone.

"I can't. Audrey wants me to stay until seven. She thinks I should 'give you a chance'." Josh said, miffed.

"You should," Tyler agreed.

"Listen, Mr. Joseph, I'm fine with being friends, I suppose." Josh said. "But I have a feeling that being just friends isn't what you want."

"It is!" Tyler countered. "I like friends. I like having friends."

Josh let out a deep breath. "Okay, so you promise that you only want to be friends?"

Tyler nodded. "I promise."

Josh narrowed his eyes slightly. "Nothing else than friends?"

"Nothing else," Tyler concurred. He paused, then added: "What if I just want a quickie?"

Josh rolled his eyes, starting to gather his things. "I'm leaving."

"No, wait! I was just kidding!" Tyler chuckled, reaching out to stop Josh.

"Nope, I'm done here. I can tell Audrey that at least I tried." Josh stood, pocketing his phone. "I would say 'it's been a pleasure', but it really hasn't."

Tyler stood up as well, tilting his head. "Really? I consider myself to be a very pleasurable man. Especially in bed."

Josh sighed deeply, annoyed. "Good day, Mr. Joseph."

Tyler tried to stop Josh again. "But -- "

"I said good day." Josh snapped, before turning and walking quickly out of the restaurant. Tyler watched him go, but not dispirited in the least. Josh was like no other person he'd met before. He wasn't planning on giving up that easily. Tyler always got what he wanted; and he wanted Josh.

+ + +

"How'd it go?"

Josh sighed. "Terribly."

Audrey rolled her eyes. "I'm sure it didn't go that bad. I've been working for Tyler for a long time, Josh. I know he can't be that bad."

"He's so goddamn annoying. Can't he realize that not everybody's going to just fall at his feet?" Josh ranted. "He thinks he's perfect and great and all that. Well, I think he's the most irritating man I've come across."

Audrey had a smug look on her face, watching Josh.

"What?" Josh demanded. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Josh, we've been best friends for a long, long time. I know you." Audrey grinned. "And I know that you're actually quite attracted to him."

A look of disgust and disbelief passed over Josh's face. "Are you kidding me?! God, no!"

Audrey giggled. "You can deny it all you want Josh. You like him, deep down."

"A, as your best friend, I kindly tell you to fuck off." Josh growled. "I do not like him. He's an asshole."

Audrey turned back to the TV. "Okay, Josh. Whatever you say. I do suggest you quickly switch gears though. He's not the type of man who thinks about long-term relationships."

Josh stood there for a second, scowl on his face, before turning and stomping to his bedroom. He did not like Tyler Joseph. Tyler Joseph was the most exasperating man ever. As Josh changed into comfier clothes, his actions were angry, quick, jerky.

"I don't like him," Josh muttered under his breath. "He's annoying."

Josh turned on the TV and settled for an episode of Supernatural that was being played, from the ninth season. However, Josh's mind was elsewhere. Tyler Joseph crossed his thoughts every minute, and each time Josh became all the more irritated and dispelled the thoughts. They came back, insistent, each time. Deciding that all he needed was sleep, that today had been an exhausting day, Josh turned off the TV and crawled into his bed.

"I don't like him," Josh said one last time, stubbornly. "I don't."

With that, Josh fell asleep.