playboy | joshler ✓

- eight -

Dates were a thing Josh wasn't very familiar with.

He's gone on like three in his total 28 years of life. So, Josh is already inexperienced at dates. Add a glorious, arrogant man to the equation (that Josh can't decide if he hates or likes), and Josh is on the brink of a breakdown.

Luckily, Audrey saves the day. Of course, she isn't able to escape Josh's lecture about handing out his number.

"Josh, he begged me for it." She said as she rummaged through his closet.

"That doesn't mean you have to give it to him!" Josh muttered. "Now I'm stuck on a date with him."

Audrey chuckled. "Stop pretending like you aren't excited."

"I'm not!" Josh squawked indignantly.

"Okay, Josh."

"...Stop talking like that!" Josh shouted.

Audrey looked up from the closet. "Like what?"

"Like if you're just...saying that to make me happy." Josh pouted, brow furrowing.

Audrey sighed, but stood up with an outfit in her hands. "Put this on."

Josh narrowed his eyes, inspecting the clothes. "Those are awfully tight pants."

"Yeah. They're your tightest skinny jeans." Audrey pushed the clothes into Josh's hands.

"Why are you making me wear my tightest skinny jeans?" Josh questioned, before a suspicious look manifested on his face.

"I'm trying to make your ass as noticeable as possible," Audrey said sarcastically.

"Well, you did give him my number! I wouldn't be surprised if you did try that." Josh scoffed, but changed into the outfit. It was just a simple, black long-sleeved shirt (which was also pretty tight) and skinny jeans.

"Well, if you don't... you know, if he doesn't bone you hard and fast, he at least gets to see a nice ass." Audrey said bluntly.

Josh choked on air. "Do not say the word 'bone' in that context ever again."

"Bone," Audrey snickered, dragging the word out. "The dance with no pants. The hanky panky. Slam the ham. Shuck the oyster. Butter the biscuit. Hit a home run. Shake the trailer. Bump uglies. Plug the - "

"Okay!" Josh interrupted loudly. "Okay, I get your point. But I don't plan on doing any of that. It's a date. And I was practically forced into it."

"Um, you are very much incorrect because I know you and I know that you wouldn't have accepted to that date if you didn't want to go." Audrey gathered the clothes that she had thrown out in search for Josh's outfit and shoved it all back into the closet. "Now, hurry up and get ready because your date is in five minutes."

"What?!" Josh shrieked, hopping off his bed and quickly trying to pat down his unruly hair.

"You have four minutes to be out that door and in your car, or you'll be late." Audrey informed Josh, watching as he sped around his room, trying to appear decent.

"I hate you. I wouldn't be in this problem if you hadn't given him my number or if you hadn't forced me to go to your stupid party."

"No, you love me." Audrey beamed. "You love me lots."

Josh finally grabbed his keys and hurried out. "No, I really am quite pissed at you."

Audrey followed, giggling. "No, you aren't. You have two minutes."

"Oh, jeez, I hope he isn't there already." The blue-haired boy quickly pulled on his Vans.

"Why would you care if he's there or not?" Audrey asked. "It's not like you want to impress him or let him down, right?"