Dan and Phil Imagines and One Shots

I Should've Known - Dan Howell

(Fantastic Foursome, sad, triggering)

The last time Phil, PJ and I stood together in suits was at the Bonca Awards. Now, we're standing in suits again, in a cemetery on a cloudy Thursday morning. We were the last three staring at the grave in front of us. PJ shook his head before speaking up. "Damn it, Chris... Why?" He mumbled.

I glared in his direction, skipping Phil's glare. Phil senses my body language getting ready to change. "He didn't die from killing himself..." I turned, looking at PJ. "He died from a broken heart."

PJ just kept looking at Chris' headstone. "What? You don't die from a broken heart."

I began to walk toward him, when Phil put his arm out. "You can. You do die from a broken heart." PJ looked up at me with his piercing green eyes. "Chris was in love. And he lost his love. Without his love around, he didn't see the point in living." Phil sighed, letting his arm down. "I should've known that he was depressed. He lost someone he loved and cared about. I know that I would be dead if one of our fights resulted in Phil leaving."

PJ scoffed. "How can someone leaving hurt someone so bad?" I ran my hand through my hair before turning to go to the car. "Dan... What's wr-"

I pivoted my body, yelling at PJ. "You!" My anger came with tears. "He loved you! You're what's wrong! You broke his heart, PJ. He lost you and he didn't see the point in living!"

Phil tried pulling me away so I could calm down, but PJ became fully engaged. "Sorry that I'm not attracted to guys?" PJ yelled back.

"That's not what you said when you made me swear to keep you and Phil secret." I laughed. "Not what you said when you went home with that one guy at the bar on South Baker. You just didn't want Chris."

PJ sighed. "Okay. Yes. I didn't want Chris. But because I didn't want to ruin what we had."

Phil kept trying to pull me away. "So you decided to push him away. Yeah, that keeps friendship. I'm sure he would've been fine with you just in his life. But no. You had to push him away. Fuck you, PJ." I finally cooperated with Phil, walking away. PJ followed us, trying to defend his position. "Don't talk to me. Don't call me. Don't even mention my fucking name." I got in the car slamming the door before breaking down.

Phil got in, turning the engine over. "It's going to be okay."

I shook my head. "I could've saved him Phil... I could've helped him. I'm not saint either, I didn't mean to push him away." I sniffled. "Damn I should've known."

During the drive out of the cemetery, the sun came out, as if Chris himself was telling me that it'd be okay. I knew it would be, but he'd be here with us now... I should've known.