Dan and Phil Imagines and One Shots

Loss of Love (Part 2) - Phil Lester

Dan wouldn't want me to be this sad, I know. I needed him next to me, though. I can't just look at pictures of him in a book, or watch videos of him. I needed his existence right next to me. My health has been rapidly declining lately, scaring the shit out of me. I went to the doctor and they told me something I never believed to be real.

"Well, Mr. Lester." The doctor stated. "You're not having a heart attack." She had the kindest smile, it helped me relax a little bit.

I sighed, "Well what is it? Why do I, to put it frankly, feel like shit all the time?" 

She sighed, setting her lab results down. "How have you been feeling lately?" She asked. "I mean, have you gone through a rough patch recently? Depression?"

I glanced down at my wedding ring. I refused to take it off. "My, uh..." I looked back up at her with tears glossing my eyes over. "My husband died last year... I feel like half of me is gone. My arrhythmias haven't been going away."

She nodded, "Makes sense." We made eye contact before she explained my diagnosis. "You have stress-induced cardiomyopathy." 

I furrowed my eyebrows. "That is?"

Biting her lip, she moved her chair over toward me. "That is the controversial Broken Heart Syndrome."

I was in disbelief. It was an actual thing. It actually existed. "Uhm... Dr. Meyers. C-Can I die from this?" I asked.

Dr. Meyers nodded. "If you don't get help after four weeks of symptoms."

I nodded, taking the prescription she wrote for me, leaving the hospital. I saw Leah on my way out, but we didn't speak. Everything was too much for me in this moment. Dan dies, leaves me with a legitimate broken heart, a broken heart I can die from. My doctor expects me to get help, but little does she know, I don't want this lonely life anymore. It may have been one year, but I'm still young. So, I can't imagine how bad it gets as time goes on. Dan was my everything, my sunrise, sunset, my happiness, my life. I can't get any of that back now. I swore to him to always be by his side. Now we're separated between life and immortality. He can't get back to me, but I can get to him.

A few more weeks went by without any medical attention and I had gotten progressively worse. I wasn't even upset or mad. I turned on my YouNow broadcast and sighed, watching the chat fill up with people. "Hi guys..." I smiled, weakly. "So, here's something that I need to tell you guys. It's been a year since Dan died and I'm absolutely miserable. But I won't be miserable for long." I saw the chat burst with worrying fans. "Don't be afraid. This is going to sound bad when I first say it, but I'll explain it to you."

I picked up Dan's neko plushie that I gave to him from our Japan trip. "I'm basically... I'm committing suicide." I inhaled softly, taking in the scent that still smelled like Dan. "I went to the doctor and told her how I was having shortness of breath, chest pains, no energy... I just felt like shit. She told me that I have stress-induced cardiomyopathy." Before I continued explaining, someone in the chat beat me to it. "Yes, JessicaLovesLynne, I have Broken Heart Syndrome. Now, the doctor told me that I could get better, but things were irreversible after more than four weeks of damage. It's been three months since I found out. Well over four weeks. I don't want to get better just to get worse again. I can't breathe anymore. It actually hurts. I might die in my sleep. I might have a heart attack. I might have a stroke. I might have a seizure. But one thing's for sure, I'm dying soon and I'm not trying to stop it." I looked up into my guest cue and I saw many crying faces. "I'm going to try to guest all of you, there's only a few people here, but I need you to stop crying. I'll be fine. I won't be in pain anymore and Dan and I will be together again." I guested the first person and seeing them crying broke me down.

Hours later, I finally got off of YouNow and filmed a quick YouTube video, sloppily editing it. Explaining exactly what was happening, I uploaded it then a video of moments Dan and I shared. Clips from PINOFs, clips from vlogs, clips of TATINOF. I teared up as I uploaded that video. This was it. I felt drained of all energy. I crawled into bed, holding onto Dan's neko. Sighing softly, I picked up my phone, calling Y/N. They were our best friend through everything. As many times as Dan and I tried to break up and leave each other, they came back and brought us together again. I didn't want to lay in bed for days until neighbors began complaining of an odor. They deserved to be here to spend this time with me.

The next morning, I woke up in a still paradise. I had no pain, I had no heartache, I could breathe and smell the dewy air without the stinging pins and needles in my chest. The most important thing? Dan was standing right in front of me. "Good morning, sweetheart." Dan smiled, letting his well missed dimple glow. I ran up to him and hugged him tightly. "It's been a rough year here without you." 

I sniffled as tears began to fall. "You have no idea how much I've missed you." I kissed Dan. "But we're together now and that's all that matters." Dan and I intertwined hands and began walking into the field of flowers in front of us.