You Can Sit With Me

Two: Thursdays

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this year, i wasn't so lucky to get seated with him and of course- actually asking for him to sit with me would've been too akward and unnecessary. so i settled with what i got - him sitting on my left in IT class because we have to sit by the name list there.

the situation isn't that bad, right? i get to talk to him but don't have to feel afraid of making a fool out of myself because it's just fourty five minutes and once a week. also, we have to sit one computer away from each other.

and that's when i decided - thursday is going to be my favourite day.

well, okay, that failed because it became one of the most hectic days of school week but at least i had something to look forward to.

every thursday now was like a new book i couldn't wait to read.

my favourite thurdays so far (as of 16/11/24):

- the one where he made me blush with a simple question and there was nothing more i've wanted at that moment than for earth to swallow me whole.

-the one where he asked me something and we shared smiles, one of the warmest moment of my life.

-the one where him, his best friend that sits on my right and me, were joking around while trying to find the right solution for the task.

-the one where we were both sarcastic as frick.

may i add that his smiles are one of my favourite things. since i don't dare to look him in the face often - it's like talking with a blank spance, then raising your eyes and seeing a blinding sun instead of his head.

yup, my imagination is this good. i swear i use it for better causes, like the productive person i am.

anyways, i have noticed this thing- i don't feel that 'heart beating faster' thing that people write and talk in the movies about, all i feel is this warmness spreading in my body and making me calm.

that doesn't mean it's okay for him to surprise me with his actions though. i swear to god, we should be able to sue the people we loke for thay ish. that would ruin the secretive crushing but seriously, all i want sometimes is peace, not more things to overthink about.

(i take that back- every action is highly apreachiated actually.)

like this one time, yesterday- the class was about to start and i, the most paranoid person you'll ever meet, was looking over the presentation i had to present and suddenly, two hands grab my shoulders and make little effort to move me. i look at him, he showes me two thumbs up and walks through me.

yup, people should get sued for this.

even after two days have passed, i still can't figure out why he did thay because he could've asked me to move instead, actually, he didn't even move me in the first place, he could've just walked and we wouldn't have clashed. so why did he choose to do that to kinda a random person?

my uncomfortableness about physical connection is probably getting to me here and i know i'm making the huge deal out of this but hey, that's how i make my life more interesting.

although it may sound silly- i treasure these small gestures the most.

i lock them in my gem box in the depths of my mind and heart because there's nothing more thrilling than the unexpected movement caused by someone that somehow can warm you whole, without even knowing.

'Girl