You Can Sit With Me

Five: True Happiness

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happiness, i swear there is such a thing, even though sometimes it becomes like a mythical creature, a myth.

my best friend from shool and i, usually have these moments where we just fool around speaking nonsense and laughing our hearts out.

i would consider it mild happiness.

one day, this moment was interrupted, by james.

he said hello and i was expecting for him to carry on walking alone, but he stayed, by my side. my friend and him mainly talked because, as i mentioned earlier- i'm not good with boys.

so i just threw a few of my usual sarcastic remarks here and there.

i was in some sort of trans at that time, it didn't felt real but to my surprise i didn't feel scared or confuses.

i was calm.

when i told that to one of my really close friends, mora, she said that is what happiness feels like.

and to me, at first, it sounded ridiculous.

then, since i do a lot of overthinking, i started analysing the statement.

and i have to agree.

we experience happiness in different forms, through nostalgia, the act of being surprised.

why can't it be through peace? it can.

but then i realised another thing- i don't want to admit he can make me experience the new kind of happy just by talking to me.

it would mean giving too much power over me to someone else.

i trust only few people in this world.

i don't trust him.

'Girl