You Can Sit With Me

Eighteen: One Sided Heartbreak

[Not Edited]

weeks passed by and i started feeling james' presence near me less and less.

my feelings grew dull and i reached that stage of thinking i cannot feel at all.

but i kept moving on, pushing through the days, hours, minutes.

it happened just as the main guy in 'Bubblegum' said - i started counting minutes until midnight from when i woke up.

soon i grew tired of seeing all grey and got annoyed with myself for letting him get to me so much.

it was so easy to tell myself that though, but hard not not let myself slip up.

"give it back!" i tried so hard not to whine at augustus.

he was doing that thing again- taking my stuff and just carrying it around like his toy. i usually took no notice to that since they were not really that important to me- but this time, it was my phone.

and he had shattered his three previous ones.

"give it baack." i kept on trying to reach my hand out and grab it but he dodged my every move and laughed.

finally, the nell rang and the teacher ordered him to give me my phone back and augustus did so.

the classes became even more boring after i went through that one sided heartbreak.

my mind was still numb and there were no urge to glance at james, no excitement to just see him again.

i guess that's why deep down i still had hope that the mysterious girl wasn't someone he liked, that there was a small chance of him liking me and having plans to try to get closer with me someday.

but the hopes were burried even deeper than my gem box with the times he had shaken my heart.

"have you finished the literature homework?" augustus asked me as we were walking up the stairs to the next class.

"yeah, have you?"

"of course not, it was so hard to come up with something for that poem so, i just gave up. i'm just hoping that the teacher won't kill me now." he smiled sheepishly.

"ah, i heard that in the parallel class just just a few people turned the homework in and she was really mad and disappointed. for your sake, let's pray others did the homework too."

"are you okay though?" his tone slightly shifted into a more serious one.

"h-huh?"

"you seem so out of it lately, the teacher asked you a simple question and you said you never heard him talk about the theme before, even though i saw- you were listening last time and you usually know at least all the easy answers for sure."

think, quickly.

"oh, i just have this bad habit of daydreaming but i usually hide it well or get myself together fast. this time i failed, that's it."

and technically- i wasn't lying. i really do daydream a lot, and this 'being stuck in time' trance feels kind of similar to it.

i would've never imagined daydreaming could be this painful for the soul.

soon, we reached the fourth floor and walked down the corridor to our class.

augustus opened his mouth to say something:
"but what about-"

and i was already in class, waving back at my friend and starting a conversation with her.

while the teacher spoke, it was hard to concentrate again but i continued on fighting it.

however, this time another thought circled through my brain as i mechanically wrote down the words from the board.

maybe i should to clean that treassure box and start anew?

'Girl