Perfect Picture || JEON JUNGKOOK

Chapter 38

Jungkook

"Another week and we have the assembly!" J-hope shouts as we enter his room after school. "I feel like screaming and running around the school!"

We all look at him with shaky eyes.

"Come on, don't be so nervous. You guys are so talented and amazing. The entire school is dying to see you all perform!" J-hope assures.

"That helps. I haven't had good sleep this past week." I mention.

"Awh, this poor baby." Eunhye pouts and hugs me.

"Just think. You have your dances prepared, right?" He asks.

I nod.

"And your song lyrics?"

I nod again. "All I have to do is memorize it."

"You're so good to go, Jungkook. You're very hard working and you're going to do so well." J-hope massages my shoulders.

"I've seen your dance AND song. It's really the best." Jimin compliments.

"Aigoo." I get embarrassed from all the love.

"Ok, friends! We have dress rehearsal in 2 days. Then we'll practice how things will run. After that we'll get into outfits and all. Ready?" J-hope raises his eyebrows.

I breath out loudly. "That's a very busy schedule."

"Yes, but don't worry. The staff will make sure we get a good rest on the days we are worked out. And you have all of us to turn to. You'll be just fine." Eunhye gives me a reassuring smile.

I nod. "I hope so."

Jin and Namjoon walk into the room.

"Where have you two been?" J-hope exclaims. "I barely see you two after school. You know we have meetings, right?"

Namjoon looks at Jin and smiles.

"Sorry, Hoseok. Jin and I have been working together on his song." Namjoon says.

"You were helping him this whole time and not us?" Jimin questions.

"He needs the help." Namjoon answers quickly.

Jin scoffs. "What?"

"I mean...sorry." Namjoon puts a hand on his back.

Eunhye and I look at each other and laugh.

"You two are cute." SinB points out and giggles.

They both turn red.

"You all are dismissed." J-hope excuses us.

"Any plans for today?" I ask Jimin and Eunhye.

"Just the usual." Eunhye shakes her head.

"Same." Jimin says.

"I am exhausted." I sigh.

"But you still have to practice your lines. Namjoon wants us to sing acapella to him tomorrow." Jimin reminds me.

I nod my head. "Right. Ok thanks, Jimin."

"I'll see you later today, Jungkook. Goodbye." Eunhye kisses my cheek.

"Where are you off to?" I ask.

"I am going to practice with SinB, then I have a shift at the café." She answers.

"Oh...good luck with that." I scratch my head.

Guess everyone is busy.

•••••

"Tonight. Tonight. Finally." I repeat in my head as I clean my brushes.

I finally have time to paint and to practice something that has nothing to do with the assembly.

I raise my paintbrush to the smooth white canvas.

I stop and stare.

I'm scared to make a mark.

What is wrong? Why am I scared to paint?

I'm so used to seeing the blank canvas in my room. I actually don't want to paint. On it.

I lower my brush.

I don't know what to paint.

I haven't painted in a long time. I was so distracted. I was too busy. I can't lose a skill. It's impossible for me to lose hope in art.

"This can't be!" I whisper shout and mix the brush with more colors.

I force my brush onto the canvas, making an ugly brown splotch in the middle of the canvas.

I start tearing up. "What have I done?"

I ruined it.

I try to improvise and I add in some brighter colors.

"It's too ugly. I can't fix this. It's ruined. What am I doing wrong? What's wrong with me?" I ask myself as I try erase the paint.

The paint only spreads making it even uglier.

I drop everything and bring my hands to my hair.

I know. It's because of all the work I have. It's too much. I haven't painted in almost 3 weeks and I'm losing everything I worked so hard for. I'm losing it.

I'm never going to make my parents proud. I failed so much on finding the "Perfect Picture" that I can't even paint properly.

I get a text and I check my phone.

Jimin: have you been practicing your song?

My blood burns and I throw my phone off the bed.

These stupid priorities. They're distracting me

MAYBE I AM NOT MEANT TO BE AN ARTIST! Maybe....

I stare at the ugly canvas and wince.

"I created that. Are all my paintings really that ugly?" I ask myself.

I breath loudly as I start realizing painful things.

I'm losing everything. I'm seeing the truth. This is me.

I stand up.

"Knock! Knock! It's me, Eunhye!"

I grit my teeth.

She's always keeping me from painting. She's distracting me. I said it myself. She's a distraction.

"Open the door, Jungkook! We have to practice the dance." She yells and continues knocking on the door.

I ball up my fists.

She's the reason.