Homestuck Fanfics

Explosions ((Aradia x Sollux))

Trigger Warning: Physical Abuse

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I sat in a corner shaking I was scared of what you’ve become a monster that’s what you’ve become. You ask me what’s up I just say nothing because I’m scared of the actions my answer will get for me. Every time it happens I look into your once pure eyes just in hope you might stop just in hope I might see you the real you not this monster. I ask now and then if you're okay but you just ignore me. That answer is clear enough. You know you're not okay, you just wont admit it. I can't blame you. I can't admit it to myself either. Yet again you come in from a night of heavy drinking, it was New Years afterall. You find someway to blame me for something that I haven’t done and you hit me for it saying its my fault saying I’m worthless, calling me names, I can’t do this, not for you anymore. But yet I stay. Not for long though.

You say you’re sorry, you say you’ve learned your lesson when you wake up and I’m not there. You beg you say you’ve changed but you can’t change over night you just can’t and you won't. You have been in denial you say you haven’t hit me you’re afraid that I’ll leave you try to play mind tricks on me but its not working nothing ever works. We’ll never be the same happy couple as we used to be, or at least I think we used to be. I can't even remember being happy anymore.

Yet again you come back from a night of heavy drinking, I say I can’t handle you anymore and yet again you hit me beat me up till I’m bleeding you just leave me in my room,curled up in the corner, sniffling yet no tears fall. I've ran out of tears, the last ones were wasted on you. I don’t understand what you get from beating me, having to see the cut on my face in the morning still saying it wasnt you. A long time ago, I would have agreed, saying it was just the alcohol. But I've learned, there is no distingushing you from the alcohol anymore. I just don’t trust you I just lost every bit of trust I have in you. You act as good as gold in front of our friends saying I tripped and hurt myself. I don’t love what you’ve become. 

I just lay there listening to you snoring, the only time I can still fall a little bit in love with you when you’re not hurting me. I need you more than ever right now but I can’t tell you anything just in fear that you might hurt me. Hmph. Might. You will hurt me, regardless if I tell you or not. It's time I begin moving on. 

You start to crying as I pack my stuff away, you’re on the floor holding my legs begging me not to go. You say you’ve been thinking about the effects you’ve had on me but I just keep packing I know you’re lying I can tell by your voice. I told you time and time again I would leave if you didn’t stop but you didn’t listen did you? Now you're saying you want be the same if I leave that nothing will feel the same but that's what I want. Hopefully, nothing will feel the same when I leave. I do feel sorry for you so I make you a promise; if you learn to love something besides alcohol again, then maybe we can try again. You're crawling after me as I drag my suitcase to the front door. "I love you, Sollux. I just have to love you another time," with that I close the door, and begin walking away. My stride falters a little bit as I hear your pained sobs, as the whole street hears them, but I recollect myself and continue walking as a few tears slip down my cheek.

I hope waking up to an empty bed has made you feel bad, in a way I don’t feel sorry. I don’t feel anything anymore, you call and you message me saying that you’ve changed that we can find something again I just want to feel the explosions and fireworks when we kiss and when we’re together I just want to feel safe but I doubt that will ever happen again. It just won’t be the same, because you're not the same. Niether am I. I am stronger now. I do still love you, but I love me now as well and you will not take that away from me again.

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wowza okay someone requested Aradia x Sollux, and it turned out a bit sad. Gomenasai. 

Anywho the song is Explosions - Ellie Goulding ((included on the side)) and well I hope you like it! I am working on finishing all these requests!

Stay stellar, friends.~ uwu