Gwen's Life Journal

First Crush

Sooo... let's get to it. First crushes, we love them, hate them and (if you are like me) HATE TO ADMIT THEM. This is the story of Oliver. Now, Oliver was a guy whom I became very close to and who I honestly thought of as more than just a friend for a period of time. Everything developed naturally, and at first, when he asked me to be his girlfriend, I rejected him, and he nicely accepted it. I did it because of 2 things:

1. I wasn't ready for a relationship....like, it was the first time I believed the phrase "It's not you, it's me." No biggie... I just didn't feel ready for it.

2. For some reason, idk why, I could only think about what will people say about me. Maybe it was because I was a middle school girl with crazy hormones or something.

  Anyway, a few months passed after the rejection, but incredibly, we were still very close. Then, one day, all of a sudden, he started to ignore me. Like, why would you ignore me all of a sudden?  

That same day, I texted him and asked him what was wrong. He then said that he (and quote) "didn't want me to hang out with my friend Lukas because he was getting too close with me. Just get distant from your friendship, and I won't be mad anymore."

(literally my face)

Now let's talk about Lukas for a second. He has been one of my very best friends for at that time 3 years (we are still very close today btw). He is one of those strange, nerdy guys whom you can tell everything to and who, most of the time, you are helping to get a girl (or get over a girl) in his life. On top of that, he was a guy who loved hugging people. It was in a very innocent way, nothing pervert-like. He would do this to the people who were very close to him. Because of this Oliver got mad.

After he said that to me I actually got very mad. At the moment, I was very dull, but the more I thought about it, the angrier I would get. Who was he to tell me with whom I should hang out or be with or what people could get close to me? Honestly, I started taking notice of Lukas too. I kinda got a little more distant from him because I got very conscious about what Oliver said to me. Still, it didn't mean that I was going to end my friendship with him.

I basically told Oliver that and that I appreciated what he had told me because it meant that he cared about me, but that he couldn't tell me with whom I should and shouldn't hang out. ....

He got very mad.....

very very mad...

Like he gave me the most silent of all silent treatments ever...

...and that included pretending that I wasn't there.

This happened towards the end of the school year, so I thought, "Hey...maybe he'll forget everything when we come back next year."

It didn't happen. He kept ignoring me. The worst thing was that we had mutual friends, so if I went to my friends, he was there and vice versa... I honestly felt very sad...I'm not gonna lie. After all, he had been a good friend even though it had been for only a year, and it had all ended very quickly.

One day I came to him and asked him to forgive me if I had done anything to hurt him. He just smiled and said not to worry because I hadn't done a thing for him to be mad at me. He just hugged me and kept going with his life....kinda ignoring me but less than before.

Again, it was a sad period of my life. Still, because of that and my desire to distract myself, I started dancing. And now I'm a teacher, so it all paid off.

(This story was a little more sentimental than others but I really hope you like it!!)