Hello!!
My name is Gwen, and I want to share all my crazy life stories, from love to adventure and even a little bit of horror. I have never told anyone any of these, so I think it might be fun to share them with you guys and get to know if you have...
I know that Zach is not a new topic in this book/ journal, and a part of me gets a bit annoyed at how much he is present, given the story I am about to tell about him. I think it is safe to say that he is the the first person I have ever been truly in love with. Yes, Oliver was technically the first crush I ever had, and important as I recall my middle school/high school days because of that. But as an adult...
Damn, I sounded old...
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But as an adult, I look back on it and I can see it was simply that... my first real crush (as in I fell deeply in love with) and the first guy I was ever interested in.
With Zach, however, it is safe to say that he is the first love of my life. And again, it is annoying knowing what I know now that he has that 'title', but his situation was one that I really felt with all my heart, and that taught me a lot about what things humans can do to hurt each other.
Now, imma recap his story a little bit just as a small 2024 summary of what happened in the past and where I left.
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I met Zach around the same time I met Lukas in middle school. For a long time, it felt like we were the three musketeers. Many times, Dean would join us, and together, we felt inseparable.
Eventually, in high school, Zach started changing, having odd episodes where he would ignore us or simply talk about topics that felt really odd and uncommon for him. This brought us to distance each other (and by each other, I mean Lukas and I from him) when we went to uni. A couple of years in, he contacted us again, and the friendship rekindled.
Another important factor is that around high school, I developed a massive crush on him but I never did anything about it as, being his close friend, I knew he didn't like me. A present version of myself would still go for it now. I now know that sometimes people can change their minds and I also now know that... guess what... rejections have never killed anyone. So even if it doesn't go well, I'm gonna be ok. But then again... naive high school student... that never happened.
When his attitude started changing, so did my feelings for him. From liking him, I started feeling sad about the way he changed since (I'm sorry, I know this is cringy, but...) I knew who he was truly inside...
