Holding Back (Lesbian Story)

I'm Maya, and I'm not gay.

~Maya~

Maya woke up Monday morning to the sound of her iPhone's alarm with jitters in her stomach and a headache.  She had stayed up until three in the morning writing about her new surroundings and the pretty girl she saw yesterday at Starbuck's.  Unfortunately, her writing took away from her normal sleep habits, and her head now hurt from only two hours of sleep.  She rolled over toward her phone and wrestled with it for a minute or two before finally figuring out how to shut off the annoying wake-up call. She then slipped/fell our of her bed and dragged herself to her personal bathroom not five feet from where she slept.  She washed her face and brushed her teeth, then threw on a nice skirt and a short sleeve shirt, which she then proceeded to put a creme colored blazer over.  Satisfied, she brushed out her long silky hair and headed downstairs to meet her mother and her little brother Lucas, who was thirteen.  

"Good morning Maya!"  Her mother said, smiling and giving her daughter a kiss on the cheek.  She handed Maya a cup of coffee and a bowl of Cap'n Crunch- Maya's favorite.  She thanked her mother and sat down at the counter next to Lucas, who was already almost done eating his breakfast, even though he had only been downstairs just a few minutes before Maya.  

While the two teens ate, their mother was getting ready for work.  She grabbed her jacket and briefcase, and just as she was about to head out of the kitchen to get in her car, she turned to Maya.

"Dear, I know it's your first day at your new school and you don't want to risk being late, but Lucas's bus stop is quite a walk and I don't want him to freeze in this weather-"

Lucas, irritated at being treated like a little baby chick groaned. "Mom, I'll be fine!  It's only seventeen degrees out."

Their mother rolled her eyes at him and continued talking, "Could you drive him to school early and get him set up?  I know it's a lot to ask for, but I have a big meeting today and I need to get in early to talk to Tom."  Tom was her partner at work, and they always worked together on big projects.  Maya understood her mom's desperation and nodded her head.

"Yeah, no problem.  Get your stuff ready to go in ten, Lucas."  Lucas sighed and trudged off to his room after their mom gave them quick hugs and headed out the door.  Their mother was the new vice-president of a big publishing company in Rosetown Springs, and the one reason she accepted the job was because the company had also hired her co-worker Tom as the second vice-president.  Together, the two of them were a roaring success, and the company did not fail to overlook the importance of both people.  

When Lucas had his backpack and coat, and was ready to go, Maya grabbed the keys to her baby.  At the age of sixteen she got her license, and when she came home from the Driver's License Center there was a brand new blue Fiat 500 in the garage with her name on the license plate.  Not being one for flamboyancy, Maya replaced the license plate with an ordinary one and just called it her baby.  She loved that little car a lot, and she was thankful that she had it to make a good first impression at her new school.  

"Alright," she said to Lucas, "are we ready to go?" 

Lucas just shrugged his shoulders and headed toward the garage.  "Whatever.  Let's just get this over with."

They both hopped into the car and Maya pulled out to head to the Rosetown Springs middle school that was ten minutes away from their house on Larkwood Drive.  As they drove past the surrounding houses, they saw several kids around Lucas's age walking to their bus stops.  Maya gathered from the quick glances she got at Lucas that he was envious of them being able to take the bus and hang out with their friends.  

"You can probably take the bus tomorrow Lucas.  Mom just needs to get you checked in today, and then you won't have to ride with me if you don't want to," Maya said, trying to make her brother feel a little less left out.  He used to love riding with Maya to school in the morning, but now that he was a teenager, he felt it was embarrassing to be driven around by his older sister.  He constantly mentioned how he couldn't wait to get his license when he turned sixteen.  

In response to Maya's comment, Lucas just shrugged and stared out the window, all the while clutching his bag like his life depended on it-something he did when he was nervous.  

Maya pulled up to the large middle school and parked near the academic entrance.  She was surprised that the middle school was so large, but  they were in a very wealthy suburban township.  She and Lucas entered the modern-looking school and headed to the attendance office to the right.  At the desk was a young female secretary of around twenty-five or so, and Maya noticed that she was very attractive.  Her nameplate said Mrs. Tennison.  Damn, Maya thought, she's hot.  Too bad she's married.  She shook her head, It doesn't matter anyway, I'm not gay here.  I couldn't like her even if I wanted to.  She smiled and walked up to the secretary.

"Hello Mrs. Tennison, I'm Maya Grey, and this is my little brother Lucas.  My mom enrolled him in this school a couple weeks ago and asked that I fill out any papers that needed to be turned in today."  

The secretary smiled a little, "Well, Miss Grey, you're in luck, because we have all his papers right here and he is ready to go!  He just needs his schedule and his tour buddy, who will be down as soon as she can."

Lucas perked up at the mention of having a female tour buddy.  He was quite the ladie's man at his old private school, and no doubt he would be the same here.

Maya thanked her and said, "That's great!  Would it be alright if I left him here alone to wait for his tour buddy?  I have to get to school too."

The secretary nodded her head, "No problem!  I'll make sure he feels comfortable-don't you worry."

"Thank you so much! Bye Lucas, I have to run - I'll see you after school."  She patted her brother on the head and hurried out of the school to head to the high school.

Thankfully the high school was just half a mile away, and Maya made it there early.  She checked into the main office and headed to her new homeroom, rehearsing in her head what she would say if she had to introduce herself to any of the classes she had.  She was in the International Baccalaureate program at her old school, and so she was continuing it here as well.  Apparently this school had a good reputation when it came to class variety and effectiveness, so Maya was looking forward to getting started with her school work.  She wasn't what you would call a nerd, but she certainly didn't slack in school.  She would have been labelled as a prep girl at her old school in North Carolina, but one of her 'friends' caught her making out with a girl, and from then on, she was a loner.  The torment she got from others got so bad that her mom started looking for a new job elsewhere, even though she didn't know why Maya was being bullied.  And so here Maya was, in Rosetown Springs, thinking of what she would say if she had to introduce herself.  Hi, I'm Maya, and I'm not gay.  I was at my old school, but then I got picked on, so I decided I wasn't going to like girls anymore and I moved here.  Maya rolled her eyes at the fake dialogue she came up with.  She wasn't actually going to try and change her sexuality, she just wasn't going to let anyone find out until she was in college.  She needed a fresh start, and Rosetown Springs High was her doorway to new beginnings.  

After homeroom, Maya headed to her first class: IB Psychology.  When she entered the room, she handed the teacher Mr. Rogen her slip saying she was a new student, and was then asked to quickly introduce herself to the class. 

She turned to everyone in the class, and began by saying, "Hi, I'm Maya."  Just as she was about to go on, she recognized the girl from the cafe, and her pulse started to speed up.  She proceeded to give the class some trivial details about herself, but finished quickly and sat down because she was caught off-guard by the girl from the day before.

It was then that Maya realized it was going to be harder than she thought to pretend to be straight.