Holding Back (Lesbian Story)

The Gilded Life

Author's Note: Hey y'all! So this is my first story on WattPad, and I would really appreciate constructive criticism and general feedback. I don't have this copyrighted, but I hope that you would treat if as if it were copyrighted and not claim it as your own work--not that you would do that anyway...right? Just as a little 'warning,' I'm not going to get into kinky details 99.9% of the time I write. I think fictional characters deserve just as much privacy as we do...don't you agree? :P haha, anyways... thanks for taking the time to read this story! :D ~ThoughtsAnonymous

P.S. That is Leila ------> Over there ------> On the side ------>

...

"I guess that's the curse of reality: there's no perfect formula like there is in movies. All there is is chaos, the unknown, and the possibly mythical existence of a thing called love."

Chapter One: The Gilded Life

Leila sighed as she stared out of the window at the gray skies outside, all the while listening to her class debate on whether or not one had to believe something to know it. The topic was intriguing, but once Leila had stated her opinion, she felt the reason to continue discussing was pointless. Unfortunately the classmates she had known since kindergarten felt otherwise, and so there was Leila, bored out of her mind and tired of hearing the same opinions repeated over and over again.

As she tuned out the droning conversation, she lazily observed the cars zipping by the school and thought of crazy, unimportant theories and ideas behind life. Before she became too engrossed however, the bell rang to signal the end of the day.

Thankful that the monotonous school day was finally over, Leila sprang out of her seat and practically sprinted to her locker to meet her boyfriend Zack. She weaved impatiently through the sea of sheeple as she tried to get to the west wing of the large public school as quickly as possible. Finally reaching her locker, she spun the combination in hastily and grabbed her notebook for FST. For the first time in a very long while, the only homework she had was graphing trigonometric functions, a rare occurence which left her some time to spend with her boyfriend over the weekend.

Just as Leila slung her messenger bag over her shoulder, two large, warm hands wrapped themselves around her waist. Smiling, she turned to see her tall, toned, and handsome boyfriend looking down at her with a mischievous smirk on his face.

"Hey there beautiful," Zack said, placing a quick kiss on Leila's lips. Leila smiled up at him and kissed him back, but in the back of her mind she cringed slightly at his compliment. Being a late bloomer had its setbacks, and self-confidence was one of them. Up until age fifteen, she had been the little human dumpling nerd child who was always dreaming about the handsome and popular boy in her biology class. However, the summer before tenth grade, Leila grew three inches and joined the equestrian team that was started at the barn not five miles from her suburban house in Rosetown Springs. Now she had perfect curves and the outer confidence of someone who owned a multi-billion dollar corporation.

"Hey there yourself," she said as she reached for one of the hands he had around her waist. They started walking down the hallway toward the buses, and Leila spoke up again: "So I was thinking- I have almost no homework tonight, and my parents are gone for the next two days..." At this point in the conversation, they were already outside of the huge school and Zack was giving Leila a knowingly suggestive look. "...do you maybe want to come with me and go to the bowling alley?"

Zack's jaw slackened in surprise and Leila secretly laughed inwardly. She was just teasing him, but after seeing his reaction she decided to draw out the suspense a little bit.

Zack shifted on his feet uncomfortably. "Are you joking? I thought we were going to have some...fun... this weekend." He drew her waist closer to his suggestively, and quirked his eyebrow seductively. His dark blue eyes stared into hers as her willed her to say that she was just teasing him. She pushed him away playfully and a devious gleam shone in her eyes.

"Bowling is fun, silly!" she said, all the while inwardly bubbling up with laughter at how evil she was being to the poor boy. Just as she said that, the first of buses in the massive line started their engines, and so she poked Zack in the side and winked. "Come on, let's catch our bus."

His shoulders slumped in relief at the realization that Leila was kidding. As they reached the bus that would take them to Leila's house, he quickly kissed the back of her neck playfully before they both got on.

...

Leila snuggled up to Zack's bare chest and sighed in content. They had been dating for the past year, and had raised the intimacy to a new level around a month or so ago. After five years since that awful day, he was the first person she felt safe with. He never pressured her for anything, not even a piece of candy, and the two always shared their thoughts with each other. The best part of that was they never got exasperated with the other's problems or successes. It was like they were a completed puzzle when they were together.

"Leila," Zack whispered softly, propping himslef up, "I just want you to know that no matter what, I will always love you." He shifted in bed, as if uncomfortable. "...Or at least until you stop loving me." His eyes searched hers carefully, as if worried, or apprehensive.

Leila frowned slightly, concerned as to why he would add in that last part. Does he think I don't love him? Have I been acting distant? She stared up at the light blue ceiling of her room, and everywhere else in her room, trying to avoid looking at Zack while she thought. Her room was fairly large, with ceiling to floor windows on three of the four walls and a private bathroom off to the left of her full-sized bed. Some would say she was dirt rich, and she would agree. Her entire house was sleek and modern, and her parents utilized the 'less is more' ideal into the design of the house. There wasn't much in the house, but what was there was expensive and attractive. Her parents were co-CEOs of a very big design industry in Europe, and so Leila was left at home alone fairly often while her parents attended various fashion shows around the world. She didn't mind though, because she and her parents were very close when they were together, and they let her do or get anything she wanted--as long as it was legal. Still thinking of Zack's remark, Leila finally turned back to look at him with her own very blue eyes.

"Zack, why did you add that last part in? You know I will always love you."

Zack shrugged and looked down at their intertwined hands, thinking. "You just seem to be distant since we first...you know..." It was clear he didn't want to go into the details of their physical relationship, as he still had some remains inside of the shy and awkward boy Leila had made friends with in the third grade.

Leila smiled a little with nostalgia, but his comment still struck a fragile chord in her memories. She could almost hear the steady, eerie beat of a drum far off in the distance lamenting the death of the security that was taken away from her many years ago...

"Leila? Are you okay?" Zack was now cupping Leila's face in his hands and he peered into her face, trying to read her thoughts.

Leila snapped out of her reverie and looked up at him yet again. She shook her head and replied saying, "Yeah, I'm alright. It's just that a lot of stuff has been going on lately with school and riding... I'm sorry if I seem distant. I promise I'll be better once we take the finals and I finish the riding season up." She smiled crookedly at him.

He smiled back, relieved. "Okay," he said, and then he pulled her in for a long, sweet kiss.