Holding Back (Lesbian Story)

Putting the Pieces Together

Author's Note (part one):  Warning-intense scene ahead.  

~Leila~

Leila stared in astonishment at herself in the mirror.  The memories of last night had come back, and her whole world was consequently turned upside down.  She remembered first kissing Maya, she remembered Maya's hesitancy, she remembered the desire Maya instilled in her, and she remembered feeling better than she had in a long, long time.  But it couldn't be real.  No one could erase the pain Leila hid from the world everyday.  Especially not a girl she just met a week ago.  

Suddenly, with the shock that came with realizing what happened last night, the memories she tried so hard to repress for years flooded back into her mind, consuming her entirely.  Her head began to pound and her heart sped up, leaving her incapacitated as she slid to the floor in silent terror of the demons that haunted her memory. 

"Get in the car.  I'll give you a ride home." 

"Momma says I'm not allowed to talk to strangers."

"But I know your momma.  It's okay.  I'm a nice person."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

Leila screamed.  She couldn't control herself as she felt herself being swallowed up by the haunts of her past, and she began to tear at her clothes around her neck, as if someone were choking her and she was fighting for air.  She heard the front door open, and thought she heard someone calling her name.  However, all she could do was try to avoid fainting as the darkness of fear tried to envelope her in its clutches.  

A second wave of memories hit her, and try as she might, she couldn't hold back a second, louder scream.   

"Don't worry, it will only hurt a little bit girly. Now be quiet!"

A hand went across her face as she tried to resist.

"I said be quiet!"

A voice in the distance called to her.  "Leila?  Leila!!"

"No!  Stop! It hurts!"

"I will.  When I'm done."

"I want to go home!"

Two beautiful brown eyes were suddenly looking into Leila's crowded ones, and they were filled with fear and something else Leila couldn't identify.  Maya had come back.  

"Leila!  Look at me!  What happened?"  Maya took in Leila's surroundings, and finding nothing, realized that Leila was having a major panic attack.  

The last thing Leila saw before she finally fainted was Maya whipping out her phone and looking up a number.  Then, the past finally engulfed her and she floated away to a quiet, worry-free place in the darkness.  

~~~

When Leila woke up for the second time that day, she was in her bed, staring into a bright blue pair of eyes that obviously showed worry.  Zack was right above her, practically suffocating her with his closeness, and across the room sat Maya, looking extremely uncomfortable.  When Zack realised Leila was awake, he waved Maya over, and she practically ran to the bed.  It looked as if she had been crying, and Leila couldn't help but notice now beautiful she looked even when she was distraught. 

"What happened Leila?" asked Zack, looking into her eyes as if trying to get the story merely from her facial expressions.  

Leila refused to speak, and looked away from both of them.  She couldn't talk about it without the threat of going through another episode.  His face flashed through her head and she winced.  It's over.  Forget it ever happened.  But she couldn't.  He took her childhood from her.  He took her sense of security, of safety.  She couldn't just forget that.