Holding Back (Lesbian Story)

Caught in a Lie

Author's Note (part one): If I said the characters were seniors, I changed my mind-they are juniors now ^^ Curse this writing off the top of my head >

It was almost summer now, and about four months since Leila had her last panic attack-the one where she kissed Maya. Classes were starting to wrap up and finals had just ended the day before, so Leila, Carmen, and Zack were planning to hang out to celebrate the upcoming end of the year. Leila would have invited Maya, but it was a Friday, and Maya was going to visit her grandparents for the weekend in, as Maya called it, "Nowheresville"- a little town four hours away from Rosetown Springs. To be honest, Leila was kind of relieved. The past four months getting to know Maya have been fun, and she was growing really close to her, but sometimes she caught herself thinking about Maya as more than a friend. Recently, when she would get distracted by thoughts of Maya kissing her again, she would spend some time alone with Zack to get her mind off of those perfect, soft lips, and it would work...for a time. Then the memories would come back to envelope Leila yet again and the pattern would repeat. If Zack wasn't able to distract her, she would turn to drinking and parties-something she used to rarely do. Now she got drunk every weekend, and conveniently Maya was always the one that drove her home and put her to bed in her drunk stupor, only to stay up and make sure that Leila wasn't going to overdose. After Leila's panic attack, Maya always seemed to be in the right place at the right time, and Leila still didn't understand why she had stuck around for so long.

Maya's life, it seemed, had blossomed since she first moved to Rosetown Springs. She was dating the hottest boy in school and had made a billion friends-most of which she shared in common with Leila. She had even made it onto the varsity golf team--something Leila wouldn't have imagined her playing in a million years. When she asked Maya how she got into it for their pysch project, she merely shrugged and muttered something about her old best friend getting her into it. For some reason, Leila felt that the answer Maya had given her was only the half truth and that Maya still only displayed half of her real personality to Leila. She drove Leila crazy with curiosity when she made cryptic comments about her past, and Leila couldn't stand it. She had practically opened her soul up to Maya for the taking, but was shut out when anything related to Maya's past come up. To her, it was highly unfair, but she was glad Maya was there on those days when Leila needed someone most. Of course Zack was always there too, but he didn't know why she had good days and really bad days, and Leila was hesitant to tell him the truth about herself. She knew that once he found out, he would become super protective of her-in the best of ways of course, and he would be hurt that she didn't tell him about it sooner. No, it was better that no one else learned about her inner scars.

"So," said Carmen, leaning over the long island in Leila's kitchen and grabbing an apple from the bowl in the middle of the counter, "what are we going to do today to pre-celebrate the end of the school year? I was thinking of going to this new club called Blue Globe. The bouncers are supposed to be pretty 'lax and a couple of other people are going too." She wiggled her eyebrows mischievously at Leila. "Huh? Sounds fun, right? It's been like two weeks since we partied properly and I'm dying to wear this new red dress I bought three days ago."

Leila looked at Zack, who was looking very excited, and then she looked back at Carmen. "Why not? I could use a night out with my two besties." She smiled and Carmen shot up out of her seat.

"Great!! I have to go get ready-meet you there at ten?" The other two nodded and Carmen headed towards the door. She grabbed her purse from the table in the hallway and threw on her aviators before throwing up a peace sign and walking out the door. Leila laughed and looked at Zack, as if saying what is wrong with that chick? They both started laughing then, because they had unconsciously given each other the exact same look. It was at times like those, when they were being completely themselves and laughing their asses off, that Leila realized how much she loved Zack as a friend and a boyfriend. They had been a part of each other's lives for so long that she couldn't imagine living life without him, and rarely ever tried to.