The Middleman | ongoing

24 | quoting life alert to me

24 | quoting life alert to me

Song: I Don't Fuck With You by Big Sean ft. E-40

Depicted Above: María Canals Barrera as Lucinda Moreno

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Who the fuck and why the fuck were the only questions I had right now.

And it made focusing on my career mentorship speech really damn difficult.

Who the fuck was Merritt?

And why the fuck was Quinn ignoring me?

Who the fuck and why the fuck.

Just simple questions, yet my imagination was running wild with the possibilities of answers.

Was Merritt a new friend that Julia had made? But c'mon... friend my ass. They were clearly something a little more than just platonic. They weren't fuck buddies or boning—that I was sure of. Alcohol could just barely crack her open to move her legs on the dance floor. There was no way her sobriety could convince her to spread her legs. Unlike others in our grade, it was something Julia just would not do.

I could only conclude that they were something a little more than friends but definitely not as intense or no strings committed as FWB's.

And as for Quinn?

I was yet to receive my dress and shoes—items he'd promised to have delivered to my house soon—washed and everything.

He'd been pretty shifty about it, and I had to restrain every urge of mine to point it out. He said he hadn't been avoiding me. I wanted to believe him, out of goodwill and the benefit of the doubt.

I really did.

I wanted and hoped that the things people had said to me were believable, but after living life for a while you get a hang of it, and you definitely know how to delineate plausibility from incredulity.

His words were too damn shady. Especially when our interactions in school went from hella to nada real quick.

Just when I had gotten to know a little bit about him, I had gotten shut down.

Nice.

Sighing, I continued to type away on my keyboard, forcing tension and unrest into productivity and output.

Switching my phone to airplane mode, I blocked out all distractions and carried with my work. Things were piling up, and it was hard to struggle under the suffocation of so much pressure by myself.

It was as though all of my teachers around this time of the six weeks period had decided to team up against me and take a huge shit on me.

Honestly.

Deadlines were all over the place, and my concentration was, too.

That's what I got for overloading my senior year with a shitload of AP's, right?

Nah.