A Bad Boy Weakness (ABBW Book 1)

Why Does It Have To Be Like This?

Sleeping is almost impossible what happened to me tonight is something I thought I wouldn't survive. Jason won't leave my side and I don't want it any other way. . My life had changed so much since I'd been with Jason but tonight made me realize one thing he is the person I want to be with – while I was in that little room thinking that it would be the last place I would ever see the only person I wanted was Jason and when I saw him I couldn't have been happier even though I was terrified. Over those few hours I never thought I'd see him again. We lay here in silence but having Jason's arms wrapped around me is enough.

I desperately want to sleep but nothing is helping I toss and turn and after a while I decide to get up and get a cup of tea and have a joint. When I walk into the lounge room there are people everywhere sitting around I walk into the kitchen and Kyle comes over his been sitting at the back door.

"How are you feeling Belle?" he asks

"Okay." I reply "At least I can walk now."

"You're talking better too" he smiles "Is there anything I can get you?"

"A joint?" I reply

"I'll roll you one now." he replies

"Thank you." I smile

Kyle starts to walk away and then turns around and smiles at me.
"I'm so glad your okay."

I make my tea and then go and sit down on the couch Trae is sitting on the other one watching TV.

"How are you feeling?" he asks me

"Better." I reply

"You look a lot better than you did."

Kyle brings me over my joint and a lighter and I feel so high by the time I've finished it but I also feel relaxed usually I would feel paranoid but with guys armed around the house it's a little hard to feel that way.

I decide after a while to go back to bed desperately hoping that I will fall asleep. Jason is still awake and just sitting their obviously thinking and I've never seen him this deep in thought.

"Are you okay?" I ask him

"You went through all that tonight and you're asking me about how I feel? If it wasn't for me that would have never happened to you."

"Jason it wasn't your fault."

"Wasn't my fault? If I wasn't in your life then in all honesty none of this would have ever happened Belle. I may not have done it directly but what happened tonight was completely my fault."

"Jason you're not forcing me to be with you." I reply "I want to be with you – I love you."

"You want to be with me? I let it happen Belle – I knew that this would probably happen and I let you in anyway."

This wasn't the Jason I am used to, he is so different tonight – with everything that has happened after its all sorted out he immediately gets his normal cocky confidence back but tonight he seems guilty and upset and in all honesty he isn't the Jason I'm used to.

"You could have died tonight." He says

"You saved me."

"If it wasn't for me you wouldn't have needed saving." He replies "You'd be better off without me."

"I don't want to be without you."

"Well we don't always get what we want Belle." He says and with that he gets up and leaves.

A few minutes later I hear the front door close and tears start to pore down my face after everything that has happened in the last few hours he just up and left me. I don't give a shit how guilty he is if he loved me he wouldn't leave when I need him the most. There is a knock on my door.