ALEX

LEMONADE

"Are you ok," Andrew winks at me as he takes another bite of his salmon.

About time I got the chance to be alone with him to enjoy his presence. My week has been booked with Elliot and the many impossible plans that she's set up for Molly's bachelorette party. The woman is not even my friend. I don't hate her, no. I despise her. Only because she is getting married to the man that I want to be with.

I've fucked up big time by letting him go. Oh, how I regret it all. But the past is the past and today is going to be a good day.

"Have you heard from Alex, are the two of you really over?"

The peace that has come over me suddenly leaves as I look at Andrew with grief. Why did he have to bring up that name? Why?

But instead of taking my anger out on him I simply smile and shake my head, no. Alex is but a memory of what I thought was good enough to be. Can you blame me for not letting go, can you blame me for holding on to him for so long? I thought that he was the best thing that ever happened to me.

The way he'd wake me up in the morning and kiss me right before leaving for work, to the way he'd challenge me to figure out what meal he's cooked for me. With Alex, I always had something to look forward too. Until, I met Kit. Kit showed me what it meant to be treated like a Queen. He handed me the most intimate parts of him that I think he rarely shares with anyone. But between the fine lines of him never sharing with me that he has a daughter, I find myself thinking of how selfish I was for not even giving him the chance too.

Who knows. Down the road in our relationship maybe he had thoughts of bringing her up, but I will never know, and so instead I find out through other means that he is a father.

"Nope I have not heard from him, we are done for good," I answer.

Andrew sighs deeply as he stares me deep in the eyes to confirm that I am not lying to him. I guess everyone seems to notice that Alex is my weakness, saying no to Alex is just something that I was never able to do.

"Good," Andrew whispers.

"Sorry that I'm late."- I look up to see Kit approaching the table where Andrew and I sit.

There is no escaping this man, I bite down on my tongue quickly as my eyes seek other things to preoccupy themselves with as he takes a seat in front of me.

"No it's fine, Barbara was just about to share with me this crazy bachelorette party that her and Elliot are planning to throw for Molly," Andrew smiles, while shaking Kit's hand.

The moment Kit hears of this he looks at me in shock.

Yeah, I wish I had eyes outside of my own head to see my possible reaction the moment Andrew opened his mouth to share this unfortunate event.

"Interesting," Kit responds as he grabs the menu in front of him.

Yeah I know right. As if I'm not involved enough in his life. Now I am practically getting married with those two, because lately, I haven't been able to spend a day in my apartment without being summoned to be at their beck and call. I am Kit and Molly's freaking assistant, at least that's what it feels like.

"So, are you going to share," Andrew charms his way back into the moment as he waits for me to sneak in some sweet details of the plans that Elliot's made.

"Oh no please, I rather not share. I don't think that Kit needs to know," I answer as I pick up the glass of lemonade next to me.

Andrew sucks his teeth and hisses at me for being a let down to him. But, from Kit's curious eyes I feel out of place even bringing up to how I had plans of getting his fiancé drunk in order to have random men dance all over her. This shit is just weird.

"And how did you get involved in all of this," Kit asks, as he places the menu back down on the table.

Now the air within the atmosphere is just thinning as my eyes plunge to his where I find myself clutching for dear life of now losing my mind in his presence.

Another minute around him and I will end up screaming. Not because he's done anything wrong but because I miss him so much and had a lot of questions to ask.

"Elliot tagged her along," Andrew answers for me, not aware that the conversation that he was placing himself in had nothing to do with him.

"Don't you think that you're a little too involved," Kit asks steering the conversation into another plane.

I am a little too involved in his life I agree but I can't seem to find a way of saying no without looking like the awkward evil ex-girlfriend. No one knows that we were once an item, no one knows anything because I bet if they knew, I wouldn't even be miles around Molly or Kit.

"And where's Alex," Kit continues, he is tying a noose around my neck and wheeling me in, I can feel it as I choke on my very next words.

Isn't it evident that Alex is not here, isn't it plain as daylight that I am alone?

"When were you going to tell me that you had a daughter, is she the mother," I break my silence as I push my plate aside and stare him in the eyes.

By now Andrew can sense the tension as he reclines in his chair. I think that he is aware that possible plates will go flying pass his head as I menacingly gaze at Kit.

"Oh was I supposed to tell you," Kit leans forward as he raises his hand in the air, stopping the young waitress from approaching our table from the moment she spotted him sitting at the table.

Hell yeah he was supposed to tell me. I deserve to know. I've shared Alex with him, I had nothing to hide.

"And how about Alex, has he finally left you. Was he all that you hoped for," Kit bites down on his bottom lip.

Andrew who sits on the sideline just stares in confusion as he listens to our quarrel. I think that the message is finally sinking into his head that Kit and I once shared something.

"The hell with Alex, you knew that I loved him. You knew that I was conflicted by him," I shout.

Kit laughs in disbelief as he brushes his hands through his curls.

"I loved you, I was there for you when he wasn't. You chose him over me Barbara, you left me for him. Like hell if you think I owe you any explanations about my daughter," he rants. This time things are getting serious as the table before us sways side to side.

We are both tense and upset.

"Was I some side piece to you while you searched around for the woman you wanted to marry," I scream.

Kit pushes his seat back and stands to his feet. I think that he's had enough of me. I've seen him upset before but not like this.

"Are you serious, you've placed me in a box and pushed me in a corner of your apartment. I offered you my heart, my soul, and my time and you've got the audacity to come up with that cheap comment about using you. I think that you've got this all wrong, you were the one using me until your so called ex-came running back to you," Kit yells, and when I say yell, I mean yell.

Andrew stands to his feet trying to calm him down as he himself is still confused by the moment.

"And for your information, no. Claire's mother died from cancer, does that give you some kind of clarity, does that make you feel better about yourself, I just want to forget you," Kit shuts completely down as he looks away from me.

I choke on my very next words swallowing them down as I watch him pace out of the restaurant.

There's nothing that Andrew could have possibly done to stop him from leaving. I feel so stupid right now.

"What the hell," Andrew whispers as he looks at me in the eyes demanding for explanations.

I am thirsty, I am parched. I think that I will go for a swim today, I think that my choice of poison is to drown myself in the pool of stupidity that I've created.

But I've got nothing to say as I reach over and grab the glass of lemonade.