ALEX

NAMES

His name is Chris. Chris is not a fan of coffee nor does he like his eggs scrambled in the morning. Chris has made a home in my apartment where I find his belongings frolicking on my floor. But before Chris ever moved into my apartment there was Billy, Andy, Rick, Michael, and I believe some married guy by the name of Edward.

"So are we ever going to make this official, are you finally going to take me out and introduce me to your friends," Chris questions as he walks back and forth between the bedroom and bathroom.

No, I am not going to introduce you to anyone. I haven't spoken to my family in months ever since Kit's big Italian wedding. I shut myself away from everyone that I know and instead I find myself entertaining names, names of which I can't keep track of.

But then there was Chris.

Chris is a paramedic and we met at a supermarket. Too busy in my own world to notice the man ahead of me I end up crashing my shopping cart into his and ever since then, things between us have been just casual sex.

Yet, Chris wants more. He wants to make it official. I don't want to so instead of telling him no, I find myself opening my doors every night allowing him into my bed where we devour each other's souls right before falling asleep talking about our day.

Andrew of course, calls me from time to time but I never seem to be able to answer when he does.

"Am I going to see you later," I ask Chris as I watch him make a run for my bed where he falls between the sheets. He is such a kid at heart.

"Only if you allow me to actually take you out to dinner, you know beyond your apartment door where society reside," he jokes around.

I look into his dark brown eyes and smirk. This is the first time I've ever had anyone beg to take me out. I say nothing and just brush my hands through his dirty blond hair. What am I going to do with this one? I've tried to let him down easy but for some odd reason he keeps coming back.

"I'm not like any of those other guys you've dated, and I'm certainly not like Alex," he whispers knowing damn well that hearing Alex's name would grab my attention.

Did I forget to mention that I have a tendency of drinking my heart out and rant endlessly about Alex to unknown strangers? Even after months, unconsciously I find myself still bringing up his name. I am such a loser. A sad story on its own that probably people will laugh years after reading the pages of my diary.

"If we do head out, where are you going to take me," I ask.

Chris leans over and kisses my forehead.

"I can't tell you, its a surprise," he whispers.

Oh how I hate surprises.

"Ok," I answer softly.

Dear God, I can't believe that I have agreed to this

Chris is thrilled of course as he rolls off the bed and dresses up for work. He works twenty four hours on and gets forty-eight off. I won't see him for sometime.

"Hey babe are you expecting anyone," he asks as I can hear him head towards the front door.

No. I haven't had visitors at my place since Kit's wedding eons ago.

From down the hall I can hear the front door open and Chris questioning the uninvited guest. I roll out of bed, march down the hallway where I can see Chris standing there with his jacket and car keys at hand, speaking to a homeless looking bearded man.

"Barbara," the man mumbles as his eyes fall to mine the moment they see me.

I was never really good with names, but this one I can never forget...ALEX.