ALEX

POSITIVE PLUS NEGATIVE

I don't feel like myself today. After getting into an argument with Chris this morning, I feel immensely horrible. Chris wants Alex out of my life and so do I but I can't just turn my back on him when he needs me for assistance.

Trust me, it's not every day that Alex comes knocking at my door for help.

Chris doesn't care though but instead of continuing this argument with me about the matter, he ends up dragging Alex to a homeless shelter where he spends the whole day trying to help him get back on his feet.

I think if I weren't around, that just maybe Chris would have punched Alex in the face for just breathing the same air that I breathed.

But today, I rush home early from work where I find myself buried underneath sheets and pillows trying to get comfortable. My breasts are tender, my knees hurt, and my mouth constantly feels dry. I must be catching a cold or something because I just can't get past this tremendous headache that keeps waking me up during my nap.

I toss over to my side where I find Chris sitting at the edge of the bed staring with worried eyes. Is it midnight already? Because it is around this time that I find my body nestled near his, after he has finished his shift at the fire station. Oh God, I must have slept all day.

"Are you ok," he asks.

No! I am not ok, I feel terrible.

"Can you buy me a pregnancy test."

Yeah, I just said it. I can't believe that I asked him too but I think that I might be pregnant. I just want to make sure that I'm not losing my mind here. I just don't feel like myself.

Chris is shocked also. "Sure, I'll be right back." And just like that he leaves the room and heads out.

Just the thought of possibly being a mother troubles my very soul. I don't think that I'm ready and certainly not with Chris. Do I really see myself being stuck with him for the rest of my life because we have a child together? No, but my attempts of pushing him away has failed so now here we are.

Forty minutes later Chris is back home and I'm in the bathroom pissing on a popsicle stick stressing over life itself. I am not ready, I am not ready. I can hear Chris's footsteps behind the door as he paces back and forth probably worrying out of his mind because I believe that he's not ready at all himself to be a father.

Just great.

I grab the pregnancy test from the counter and stare at it for a moment.

"Is everything ok," Chris questions. I think that my silence is killing him.

Positive plus...negative.

What the hell does that mean?

"What the hell is a positive plus a negative?" I ask, but by then I can hear Chris shouting to the top of his lungs to the Heaven's.

Last time I checked in math class, a positive and a negative equals a negative.

Chris pulls the bathroom door open and picks me up and off the ground. His arms comfort me as he sways us side to side, I can smell the cologne that he's sprayed on this morning around his neckline as my nose rest on his shoulders.

"Congratulations babe," he kisses my cheeks.

Wait, what?

Congratulations?

"What," I whisper feeling my feet touch the ground once more.

Chris looks me in the eyes while rubbing his thumbs on my cheek.

"We're going to be parents," he answers, but I think that he can see the disappointment on my face as his smile suddenly fades away.

Positive plus negative...