This is the short story version. By chapters kasi ito dati eh kaso tinamad, ayan, naging short story. It's nothing much though I hope y'all like it. :)
PS: Ever heard of Wattpad Confessions? H'wag kayo maguluhan. Parang ganito yun. :)
FEEL IT
Death. That's the least thing in this world I would ever wished. Halos lahat ata ng entries ko sa diary ko last year, included ang topic na death. I am really confident I'm not the only one who hates it. Everybody does. Natanong ko na one time sa prof ko sa Philo, "Why are we born if we are going to die anyway?" Nginitian niya ko saka niya sinabing, "It's part of the cyle. Remember past and after life?"
After life, it sounds very amusing. Imagine, you can be anyone or anything but you're still yourself. Sinabi ko sa kaniya, kay Felix na kapag after life na, ayoko na maging tao. I want to be a butterfly instead. Ang ganda kasi sa paningin ng butterfly, then you'll add the paradise. I can perfectly picture myself flying while being chased by him. It's still in my head even after what happened.
It started during my first sem in college. I thought I was perfectly fine. Not until I started feeling that headache words can't even describe how painful. Akala ko simpleng migraine lang, if you could call that simple. There came a time na babagsak na lang ako habang umaakyat sa hagdan o kaya naglalakad pauwi. I tell you it was hell. And it was worse than hell when we discovered I'm sick. Mabilis masyado ang mga pangyayari. I took it lightly though. Doctors informed me that it's deadly... not the literal deadly but it somewhat is. It will take away my happiness and for me, it perfectly defines death.
Nung araw na nalaman kong may sakit ako, I didn't think twice and hid it to those people I care about. Pati nga sa ate kong sobrang close ko, hindi ko sinabi. Ayoko ng ganung set-up at ambiance. Na parang yung naaawa sakin yung mga taong nakapaligid just because I'm sick. Gusto ko katulad nila ako na looking carefree as always. Parang walang problema. Normal. Masaya... you get the picture.
Because that's me. Masayahin. Palagi akong nakatawa. You'll sometimes see me wearing that irritated face but it'll easily fade. There are lots of reason to smile. Andyan si mama, si ate Nica, si Vince na beki kong kapatid na sinasayawan ako ng tinikling kapag malungkot ako. Andyan si Joey!
Si Joey na dating nanligaw sakin. Nag-shift pa siya ng course para lang sakin. He obviously cares... kaya nga hindi ko sinabi sa kaniyang may sakit ako kahit pinagkakatiwalaan ko siya. Pinsan niya yung boyfriend ko. Dati-rati best buddies sila pero nung niligawan niya ko, biglang pumasok sa picture si Felix.
Si Felix na palagi akong binibigyan ng Zesto Choc-o kapag wala ako sa mood. He apparently knows how to make me smile. Which is why siya ang sinagot ko kahit si Joey ang nauna. Joey is better than him. Magmula sa physical appearance, ugali, talino o handwriting... ewan. Ganun lang talaga siguro. You'll find that person who makes you happy more attractive even if he's actually not.
Love-hate relationship. That was us. Parehas kaming mainitin ang ulo kaya madalas kaming magkaaway kahit napakababa ng dahilan. Ma-pride din siya in a way... pero mas ma-pride ako. Nature na siguro ng babae na ayaw isuko ang pride at ayaw mag-sorry. Kampante na hindi naman makakatiis yung lalaki and he'll apologize later on. I see that as a perfect relationship though. Yung kahit away kayo ng away, the affection is much stronger. Both of you can't sleep without being settled. It was fun. We were like that for a year and a half.
1 week nun before the classes resume, nagpaalam siyang uuwi sila ng Ilocos ng family niya. Pumayag naman ako kasi wala naman akong choice. It was kinda overwhelming. Yung konsepto ng space nabuo. I can do whatever I want without being yelled at. I can go to places without my tail. Masaya. Then Joey came in the picture again. He asked me if I could come with his family naman for an outing. Hindi na ako nakatanggi kasi pinagpaalam ako ng mother niya sa mother ko. Everything was settled. We went to this resort somewhere in between Laguna and Quezon. The place reminds of a story setting entitled Empath. Mabato yung lugar. Dead end daw kasi yun ng falls. Merong pool pero isa lang. Since I am the kind of girl who hates adventure, I picked the pool.
