Holy frick I feel famous people are like reading this wtf I thank yOu for reading my cringy ass story
Also I think I need help because every chapter starts of kinda normal and then the further I get into the chapter the higher I become so like "he said" becomes "THAt FRICCING mofo passed thRU HIS GODDAMN LIPS"
Help me
Within about two minutes of the train stopping, Gerard was being FRICCING dramatic again.
"Do I seriously have to DRAG my things out of the train?" He shrieked. Frank put his hand on Gerard's shoulder and gayley looked Gerard in the eye.
"Gerard the conductor literally just said that they'll take our luggage to our rooms you actual idiot" he whispered
"I think you mean he's an American iDiOt?" Billie Joe Armstrong screamed, his head sticking out from the train roof window thingy.
"We really need to get an exterminator for this train." Muttered a passing candy trolley lady, shaking a stick at the singer. "Go away billie nobody likes your puns" she growled, poking his head through the window again. "Well my names BILLy and I sURE am frEAKIng oUT." He squealed. Frank and Gerard turned to give each other a look. And walked out while Patrick followed them, who was still in a slight panic from loosing his precious PEtEY PIE. If they were to look back on the train at that moment, they would've seen Barry Scott from Cillit bang, grinning evilY and stalking their asses.
"How do you think we're going to get to hogwarts?" Frank wondered. Looking for clues like he was in SCOOBY doo or some shit whatever Gerard turned to look for some form of transport , only finding get this: a self driving wagon like he was from the 16oos! Repulsed, Gerard sassed to Frank "if I have to step one foot in that DIRTY HORSE THING I am actually going to SCREAM!" Frank nodded. But like then this ogre yelled out "FIRS. YEARS OVER HEAR YAR HAR" he was like 59 foot tall and had a massive dirty beard. "What the hell is he?" Gerard muttered as they walked over. "And where is my diamond carriage?"
The great oaf seemed hurt as he heard Gerard's words "gerard I literally took you to diagon alley yesterday, that comment has hurt me very much." Gerard was confused, he'd never seen anyone as dirty as the man before him. The dirty giant shook his head and sighed, before calling out "ComE ON. NOW YE FOUR TEH A BOAAAAAT" and pointed to a fleet of boats
Wooden boats
That were right mank
And had like dirty ass lake water on the bottom
Ew wtf
"Omg sweaty there Is no way I'm getting in that." Gerard stepped back, disgusted. Shrek shook his head "there is and you will" he picked up Gerard by the cloak, who squealed because ew he is tainted, and dropped Gerard into the boat, which tipped over and trapped him under. "FRANK BBBY SAVE ME." He squealed. Frank didn't know what to do, so he picked up a stick and tried to turn the boat over with it. "NO REALLY I CANT SWIM IM LIKE DROWNING UNDERHERE. " Gerard blubbered. Patrick in the boat next to Gerard's potential place of death sighed and leant over to flip the boat over, while Andy and Joe shuffled TO THE LEFT TI THE LEFT to Patrick's other side of the boat and Joe held Patrick FRimLY ((((; by the legs. Just in time to see Gerard submerge. "Is anyone going to save him or???!!!!????" Patrick asked. Frank shook his head. "The water looks like it comes up to my waist. He's just being dramatic." Gerard popped back. "Fraaaaaaankieeee my night in shining armour save meeeeee" he whispered. Frank sighed and held out an arm, "come on then." And pulled Gerard out of the water, they both climbed in their boats. Gerard was shivering with hypothermia/anticipation. Literally everyone was in a boat except from this lonely ass child, with curly ass hair. "Wow I didn't know curly haired people other than Joe existed!" Gerard gasped. SHREK picked up curly ass haired child and shoved him in their boat. "Right u can have him BC he be needing to be introduced. I was going to shove someone from panic!at teh disneychannel in here but this here is meh reason teh live so"
Gerard started in awe at curly hair's curly hair. It was so fluffy. He wanted to touch it. He didn't even notice the boat starting to move down the lake by itself. The boy looked very uncomfortable as Gerard had started to foam at the mouth. "Um... Are you ok?" He asked. "Can I touch your hair?" Gerard replied.
"Is he ok?" Curly ass hair asked Frank.
"Yeah, he um, just has... An odd personality."
"Oh, I'm used to that. What's your name? I'm Ray."
"That's Gerard, I'm Frank."
"HOLY FRICKIN ORANGE WAIT UP GUYS IM HERE IM HERE.!" Screamed a rare breed of emo aka our Peteylewiskingston Wentz the third who had managed to not get flattened by the train.
"OMG ITS PETe!!!!!!1!1!1!1!1!1! JOE ANDY ITS PETE" squealed pattycakes
"AYE YEH GUNNAH HAV TEH GO BACK ON TEH TRAIN I CANNAE STOP TEH BOAT YEH EMO ASS GON WAIT TILL NEXR YEAR SWEARTTTTTYY" bellowed SHREK aka homeless dude because the boat was literally halfway there wooAAAAH LIVING ON A prayetryryeyE RRRRRRR WOOOAAH
" not if I use my...... Emo POWERS??!!!!" Pete hissed like he was in that 16 candles music video and zoomed off into the woods like he was idk Edward from twilight that dude Gerard was meant to play idk
PAttycakes was like upsetti spaghetti....
like an hour later BC hogwarts has problems as a school they arrived.
Time to be sorted n shit.
(Here's the part that takes me ten hours to write because 1) I'm making this Story up as I go along and 2) I haven't decided who's gonna be in what house yet whoops)
"Why TF do all these students look like they're in their bloody thirties I'm actually SOBBJNG lmao wtf does that 11 year old have tattoos for. Wtf drugs did their mums take lol" said Mcgonagall in greeting as they walked into the great hall. It was long asf and like the ceiling was like this like sky that like looked like the one that was like outside and there were like candles n shit they were like floating n shit like there were like 4 billion tables with like multicoloured students not in that way you silly banana I mean like their school uniform colour it was like when you go to events and other schools r there and ur like "fight me Susan" only it was like one school what did you expect Oxford university????
"Holy shit that's a lot of students am scared" whispered pattycakes who was like missing his small Pete bean.
"Line up against this wall and the talking hat will call you to be sorted. Because that's not trippy at all." Ordered MCGOnagall.
"TF r we getting sorted into" questioned Gee gee
"The manky hat will tell u bro' mcgonal answered
YOU ARE READING
Gerard way and the house tournament
Fanfiction*This is a crack fic don't expect the plot line to make logical sense because I can assure You it doesn't * Gerard flips to hogwarts because the stranger thaT breaks into his house and looks like SHREK on drugs who goes by the name of "HAGIRD" tells...
