Gerard entered the shop and it was all wooden and not at all fabulous, Gerard was so disappointed he cried tears of glitter, "oh Hagrid you great oaf, where am I going to get a wand worthy of myself now?" He SOBBED
"Oh shut up ya spoilt emo biscuit it's the only wand yeh gonna get" Hagrid sighed but it was such a big sigh Gerard like fell over on like the DUSTY FLOOR. "OH MY BLOODY GOD HAGRID FIRST PETES PIZZA NOW DUST EW MA BEAUTIFUL FACE." He SCREAMED like a 4 year old. "WELL FLIPPIN TOUGH." Screamed our Hagrid.
"AY YO FAM WELCOME TO ME SHOP" screamed this old man
"Ayyyyyyyyy olive pander long time no seeee" Hagrid roared. olive anger walked up 2 Gerard and was all like "what's ye name sonny."
"It's Gerard way bitch." Gerard sassed sassily with sass
"Right then jared hay we gon get you a wand." Olive Garden promised
"No my names Gerard way tho lol"
"K then Gerald day" corrected olive antenna. Gerard sighed "fine whatEVES just get me a wand you crusty old man" older value sighed "fine let's see what we got fer ya right first we need 2 measure yo ass" and he flicked his magic wand and like 19999992991910092929999 rulers zoomed out of like literally nowhere and started measuring like literally EVERYTHING in the entire world like even Mikey ways jawline smh until our olive trees was all like "I am right done here m8" and went searchin for them wands for our Gerard way. While he was gettin his hufflepuff on (he's probably not even a hufflepuff goddam) this small boy w/a fedora walked in the shop. "Aw he cute" Gerard whispered. But then, behind smol fedora boy there was a certain eyeliner wearin dude,.
"CURSE YOU PETE WENTZ."
Dundun dun
"Holy smokes! Is that that kid y'all was talking about?" Said smol fedora boy.
"Yes he brings dishonour into the emo community." Pete gossiped "he's such a POSER lmao XD"
"Aw shucks Pete that's kinda rude" defended smol bean.
"Excuse me I CAN HEAR y'all" Gerard flipped his hair and took out his eyeliner BC sass.
"Stop bullying small children u lil shank." Taught Hagrid wisely to Gerard.
Pete laughed and was all like "I really want to be yo friend 4 makeup lessons so can resolve our differences? I'll give you... My, eyeliner."
"Aw hell no I would never rid an emo of his eyeliner" Gerard refused BC Pete might as well die w/out eyeliner.
"Nah I have like 1091929832829393921939 eyeliners this is from walmart lmao."
"Ew ermergawsh I'm not touching ANYTHING from Walmart ew ew ew GET AWAY FROm @ ME" Gerard SCREAMED and jumped into fedoras arms
"pEtE hElP mE" fedora WORRIEd. Pete was all like "GET OFF PATRICK I WAS JUST KIDDING ITS NOT WALMART ITS CHANEL."
Gerard slowly slid off Patrick because he was still wary AF and took the eyeliner from Pete. "GOT A FABULOUS WAND 4 U" Gerard heard Oliver Andre announce, and olives android passed Gerard the worlds most BEAUTIFUL wand EVA it was covered in purple glitter. "Give it a shake u uncultured swine" olive grenade demanded and Gerard did so and magical sparks of GLITTER flung out. It was amazing, that was until Gerard dropped it just as Patrick was more moving to look at wands.
CRACK
RIP the wand lay in pieces.
Gerard screamed "aaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
Time for an emo rant
YOU ARE READING
Gerard way and the house tournament
Fiksi Penggemar*This is a crack fic don't expect the plot line to make logical sense because I can assure You it doesn't * Gerard flips to hogwarts because the stranger thaT breaks into his house and looks like SHREK on drugs who goes by the name of "HAGIRD" tells...
