There's a lot to think about when pondering death. Will it be an accident, will it be murder, will you die of old age or will you take your own life. I decided on the last one. There's a lot of reason's why but mainly just this one; I'm scared.
I left home at 17, and it wasn't because of some terribly tragic life I've lived involving an alcoholic father or abusive mother. In fact I loved my parents very much, but for some reason, things I love don't stay around very long. That was proven to me on my 16th birthday, when I witnessed something only psychopaths found amusing.
After deciding the hollow walls of my home were too heart wrenching to endure any longer, I set out for the city, hoping my rural life here could be long forgotten. It didn't quite work. My nightmares are proof of that. There's also proof in my first ever best friend in New York. His name was Austin and he taught me how to live and how to survive here. That was until he was murdered on the subway right in front of me.
I can't properly describe how it feels to lose people you love. I can't tell you how it feels to watch the most important people in your life, die right in front of you. And I can't even fathom the thought of getting too close to people anymore. You'd think I had learned my lesson by now but here I am loving some celebrity will all my broken heart because he keeps me moving. So I let him know, before I confirm my decision to completely let go and leave this world and be happy again. Because if someone saves your life they deserve to know right?
But you see, something strange happened to me. He responded. And the first thing he said to me was "Keep Breathing" but it also turned out to be the last.
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I am not in any way trying to romanticize things such as self-harm or self hate. No one is going to save you from depression, and no one is going to be your knight in shining armor when you are on the brink of committing suicide. You can only save yourself and by the end of this story I hope I've made that clear.
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Keep Breathing
FanfictionI fell in love with a boy who had millions of hearts at his disposal. He chose the broken, bruised and stitched up heart I called my own. He tried his best to mend all my broken parts together, to hug me so tight all my broken parts came together ag...
